You agree to go to school. You agree to move out of your house. You realize you need a place to stay. That can be a full time job.

So that's been my headlong focus in the last few weeks. It's not exactly boring, but jesus I haven't played many games (okay maybe some City of Heroes - read). I haven't had any sex. I have barely partaken of the culture of Los Angeles.

Except as I've lived it, driving, walking, stopping by the Old Vienna Strudel Company, going to an Aikido class, dancing at a drum circle on Venice beach. Talking late into the night to artists and surfers and utopians.

What about my work? I have been turning over new ideas for old projects. bud.com, and a book I was writing. I've been spending most of my time editing a book for Mimi: academic research from Japan on mobile phone culture in that country. That takes up a lot of my primary brain space.

But now it's winding down to a close. I'm going to try not taking up any big consuming project for just a minute. What happens if I just sit here? I answer some of my email, maybe. Maybe I leave the computer behind. And then what? I'm curious to know! I'll get there someday, oh yes.

I kind of feel a longing for something to study. In the last few months I've continued my studies of mobile communications, electronic games, sacred sexuality. I've recently studied the geography of Los Angeles. Maybe I should study the history of this town? I read Mike Davis's City of Quartz. Now thanks to Robin I'm reading Samuel Delaney's Dhalgren which is so far about a man with no name and few motivations who wanders a town of indeterminate fuckedupitude frotting himself against other dirty indeterminate familiars. Guess I'll go with that for just a 'nother little while. Multiple folks and divination systems have advised me to learn to be comfortable without having an explicit focus. Jeez that's hard.