this is a photograph of myself, I took in the mirror at the Opus hotel, at 1:45am Saturday Night, Halloween. Just coming from a fantastic fun party filled with kind edgy weirdos. I had been to a party the night before, in another neighborhood outside of Vancouver - more affluent, less entertaining. More space, more people. But this was somehow energizing. I felt sexy surrounded by unusual folk.

So I was looking at myself briefly. More like I wondered and knew what I look like. I had accreted costume - long underwear beneath, a shirt, a vest, a shirt over that, cuff links. And this hair I don't bother to cut. Glitter, some makeup. I start looking like something between decided and flexible. I guess I don't always know what I'm aiming for. But I like plunging forward. This evening I found myself rewarded by a woman who unbuttoned each of my clothes to chew on my chest, another woman who hugged me long and close, telling me about her home as her husband stood just behind me handing out mushrooms, and a third woman who shared a kiss just a bit before the doors closed. So it was an evening of contact, brief out of town traveling fool man. Wondering where his spirit lies, for now on the road. I like to feel, and show that on my skin.

Happy halloween - my costume was me. I was going to say "freak" if anyone asked but people kept suggesting I was a member of Hanson, this band made up of young earnest blond white guys with hair that has length enough to have the same silly tails in back that I have, or one woman suggested a member of Duran Duran. Much more interesting to have people project a costume on to me while I keep dancing.

I'm in Canada for a Nokia-sponsored Ludicorp-hosted conference on the subject of Play. Brilliant people talking architecture, game design, sociology and motility. In Vancouver, my first visit to a city that mixes Asian and Scandinavian in the midst of breathtaking surroundings. Nice to imagine myself moving to a city for beauty and urban planning alone. Daylight savings struck while I'm here and it's a blessing to have another hour to sleep up - I've got to wake up to continue my video interviews here at the hotel, pack and head back into school.

Dancing to a messy and completely enthusiastic 17 piece band crowded up onto a plywood stage at a high school gymnasium, I did some reckoning: I've spent the last few weeks studying and working to see how I can do well in my schooling. How I can honor my education and push myself to engage and edify self through partnership with peers and professors. What's lacking, lacking, missing, absent, taste of something familiar tonight was dancing in my long underwear blissfully smiling happy hair in front of my eyes dazed sober and staring up at the hard drumming conga woman keeping time alongside smiling at me dancing ecstatic and deciding, remembering that I liked that kind of serendipity without fullfillment. To join some unpredicted gathering and participate fully until I lost myself in movement. I need to practice more odd behaviour that accords with my theories of thoughtful living. I declare. More totems. More graven image making. More

Then I decided to stop thinking to much about what I need to do and let out a deep breath and continue shaking my little titties.