February 2011 Archives

One of the hardest things about divorce was seeing someone I loved in pain because they needed to be away from me

I drive myself into the city of lights in their eyes
hello they say why are you here and relatively charming?
I age before them, my momentary bravado propping up deep hunger
I'm reading them, skimming their pages, giant standing books, I judge their untreated skin conditions and the layers of makeup, the off kilter beanie or the high riding short shorts
we're all human, I'm sketching yours out quickly in my mind
if I can write you fast enough you can't fool me
and if you can't fool me
mutual delight is delayed and I will sit back down

maybe I used to dance more
now I'm confused
again
as I have been before
these times when I'm not partnered!
I'm carrying a wide vessel filled aquarian, carrying feeling
to present to someone, hold me, hold this, support all this conversation
speak quicker than I can read
or say something that folds the pages
I don't want to read you, I want to stand with you and read the world together
it's a long search and I'm reading with myself

I guess I should enjoy my own company more but I'm surging through my skin

Riding the train. Oh! A striking woman. Is she the one? The one you're staring at, Johnny JunGumper!