9 february, 1996

9 February, 1996

tomorrow, I'm trainin' to capitol hill,
to " RALLY AGAINST THE COMMUNICATIONS DECENCY ACT!!!!"
I got a message for them folks.
I scheduled a sinners session
(s warthmore i nter n et n ovices & e xperts r hythmic s eminar)
for saturday afternoon
when DC decided,
I found a most enthusiastic conductor
Dominic
had already posted flyers and newsgroups
I'm glad to have someone else running a meeting
it means it's not just my show
but something wonderful that other people do too.
always work to be done,
more web pages!
heh heh
pant pant
more web pages!
heh -
- slap -
sometimes I get sidetracked
hard for me to sit still
through theatre
movies
performance
when I could be doing my own

but when I provide patience
there seldom fails a timely lesson

beautiful friends performed the
Heidi Chronicles
no coincidence
major asshole character
"scoop"
irresistable intellect
asshole
seductive cynic
powertripper
his verbal feinting
challenging affection
demanding strength or running circles
playing games

to keep on fuckin'

uncanny
reminder of

powertrippin'
seeing that crass ass
pained unconnecting
made me think twice involvement
manipulation
and now stuck with the consequences:
she and I shared a hug afterwards
I was drained from the lesson
she riled by the similarity
and resolvement meaning closeness?
I asked julia
can I fuck my students?
(Ben Vigoda called it the rock star mentality)
she said
you can't fuck them
as long as you think of them as students.
morality on my mind
finds rya in a lovin' mood
bedroom eyes
Piscean potential
for pleasure devotion
leaned on by a luscious babe
in a belltower
after I didn't leave fast enough
she came on to me
bolder than that mottled boy chick at TND
and though I was stiffened
I had done too much thinking.

consequences? fallout?

long term?

she siren
urged me to leave drama, thought
inhibition
she knows mostly what feels good

each piece of her argument rang
as a mythic or moral bell.

actually,
she just wanted to kiss me
but if I kiss her I'll want to fuck her
and she won't
becuz she don't feel strong

strength comes thru
pain of no plezure.
no saliva swap
noses nuzzling
I could fuckin' ravish gorge grope you
that's not how we should relate.

I'm such a noble guy.
though not unencumbered myself
again today I saw chen
as usual
she psychoanalyzed me
paralyzed me
smarter than me
shortcircuiting my voice
she turned finally
affectionate
how are you?
"I'm tired."
got to get you off that internet
"no way - it's a receptacle for my love
it can hold all I can give it."
ooo! bitter! bitter!
"no bitterness, here let's have a hug."

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