Links.net: Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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6 march, 1996
I'm real tired
so I'll try to keep this short.

I want to encourage
rambling publishing like life
for swat at large

I'm stuck trying to come up with a metaphor
-how to organize the files? the navigation?

what we've come up with

forest, creek

or just collect articles and see what arises?



perhaps as I grow more personal
I'm drivin' folks away

(or mebbe its my fund raising drive)

links from the underground

user count
actual folks hitting some part of my pages
peaked at 27,000 last spring
now its a good day if users hit 16,000
it's been hovering at around 12,000 the last two days

it was really the interactive sex links
I elected to take down
they brought in 11,000 users a day

sort of like this buddhist ecofeminist lecture tonight

nothing that specific actually
just renewed vigor
the vow of the boddhisattva.

many things rung true for me

aspirations
possessions are a burden
without them you have more to give

like owning all those eyeballs with the sex links

wasn't worth the trouble of having them
(tho if I was beholden to advertisers,
I'd be shitting bricks).

my bedroom is an ankle deep mess

clothes papers boxes packaging photos
got to get rid of some of this stuff
thought about giving it all away

sometimes I think I'm a boddhisattva
that's what larry used to call me

but who is?

something to aspire to.

and wisdom for the dallyings
countermanipulations
the pyt was moved by our encounter
what am I supposed to do with that?

it's fun to play

countermanipulations
pain premonitions
potentations.
meanwhile, back on the farm,
happy 18th birthday rya.

legal girl lingered long
she knew a gathering

no surprise

she kept us party waiting near an hour

hard for her to stomach the attention
then she wallowed in guilt.
checking my e-mail,
balthazar is leaving first this earth
and then just swarthmore

then a false alarm

vested sharp looking at Paces
sorry dude, for strong feelings

he likes to dance to prince.

I end the night with aaron wong
disaffection I say,
now located "control freak"
S&M relationships

I tell him more about my life than most

then he tries to control me
tonight I noticed
and poked him a bit

he's like a big elephant

the psychics say he's ganesh.

what's your damage?
he demands
he bemoaned
no one cooler than him at Swat
and was glad I am "dirty"
dreadlocked
so he doesn't have to bother with the sex attraction
like those other fools.

these people are so weird.

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