gk calls up drunk party phone passed around 6 full efficiency at madison
- funerals, graduations, weddings, italy they're second to none in ritual, but she ain't ready for services yet
immediately prior conference with colin I realized I'm to take a semester off
no following fall at swarthmore
realization of retreat:
house, multiple rooms/floors
30-40 minutes walk from anywhere
no other houses in sight
near town with grocery, pub, small library
so mom was supportive,
though of the self-publishing print idea "that's not fisable"
and worried that one semester might turn to two
colin tales of last night's trip to the tunnel club party and drunk
to mom reports he watched goodfellas, went to bed.
over lunch, odour de balkyafternoon meeting with maya daily page reader and dream
I'm torn - my own antideodourant and his pervasive odour
balk-man, if you want to get chicks (he so badly is lonely)
one thing to look out for is smell
you can either hold out for one who will dig your scent
or work to make yourself more approachable.
maya people warned not to inflate my ego with honest admission of daily reading
information hungry she finds my page somewhat satiating
obsession question - what do you get from it?
posited different perspective perhaps inspiring provoking potential
that was the best kind of afternoon after a great solid massive strong hug I left feeling light but grounded, ready and excited full of love for the day ahead and everything exciting I have to do and say and read and be in my life
all is time not left but hey
I know she's reading this,
I said it to her face first.
I suggested she put a little time into her site each day
more of her brainselfreal reflection
but then I'd just be copying you
I copied someone else, you do it your own way, don't worry about it.
more of maya
and maybe someday maya.net?
possibilities for summer production friends inductation and inspiration
she sez I'm inspiring
she stays up all night without caffeine when she is inspired
her spiritual searching, taking from everything - nothing wholly satisfies
like the net, searching, active clicking for truth no whole dogma without links?
finals time there too
his friends have seen me naked aspiring writers I haven't read enough of their work
cory reports he's always drunk,
maya asked me today if I have any secrets
after a dayhalf to ponder this I wonder
that something came of 4.30 am readings, is that a secret?
identities and web page secrets of the unnamed bed partners, their secrets
my secret, for maya first, and now for you:
fourteen, or fifteen, in the midst of my masturbatory self-discovery that with my legs behind my head, I could barely fellate myself. (I don't really tell anybody that)