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july 24

today:

the housing hunt extended on into lunacy, and a daily grind,
being young and turned down and still living somewhere beautiful but not ever trusting things much

and LL stills rings the doorbell telling me to tell my girlfriend he says she's beautiful. our friends we forward each other rental listings. poor kathy has a cat, and a roommate who can't go house hunting with her - that's difficult.

after college i wanted sure independence like paying all my own bills. important for me to do. but after a few weeks of looking in this crazy place to look for housing, i took my mother up on her offer - she would make a downpayment on a house here and we would pay the mortgage. a good investment for her in a crazy real estate market, and we save a little money on rent, and maybe end up with a place nice-er or nice-enough at least.

she thought i should look for an inexpensive condo in a safe neighborhood (an endangered species). we were looking at two bedrooms, at least enough space for a home office. it took a little while to mesh those things - but we have submitted a bid for a place occupied for 49 years by a german jewish woman who has lost her husband and most recently her only son to prostate cancer, and now she moves to an old folks home, und leaves behind the grapefruit tree, the orange tree, the lemon tree. do they bear fruit? "oh fruit und fruit und fruit und fruit."

it'll be nice to settle down again. gas stoves! and a brook outside (bordering the park that kathy's aunt has claimed is the number one dead body dumping ground in oakland. oy - there's always something. we're a bit in the boonies, but this new place, we can walk to groceries. and we've learned to be safer, right? like suspicious - i'm avoiding eye contact more these days; it can be slightly alienating.

anyways, we'll scope the neighborhood and the deck over our concrete garden that borders 6 inches deep summer stream and the second bedroom that wouldn't have any space to walk around a bed, so we'll put two desks and some shelves in there.

it's nice to stop looking. and enjoy the presence of eve, amy's best friend from back east visiting for the summer. she's tough fun lovin' and no wall flower or shy thing - aries. so sometimes i feel like weirdo control freak old stupid boy justin when the girls get to bonding over my paranoia, and sometimes we take roadtrips to "big ma'am" as eve called it - didn't make it to big sur.

tonight we went, kathy eve and i, to the paramount to the "seven year itch" movie in an old fashioned setting. door prizes took twenty minutes. surrounded by octogenarians. organist.

i took notes, and i want to write up my paramount experience - i'll probably post the early story on bud and move it here later.

amy didn't go with us because she works waitress and makes her best money on the weekends. real love hate type situation. "i work at a party four nights a week" - sometimes makes it hard to go out afterwards.

i am very stimulated by bud.com - so many wonderful if disparate associates are contributing and lots of random folks are taking initiative to contribute some fabulous urls. i'm very stimulated. some resulting hand pain, but hey. time to start getting massage again, but now i have to pay for it myself. i've got a kind of persistent pain in my middle fingertip today.

a friend mentioned an audition for some banana republic fashion advertisement. if they liked you, they'd pay you 500$ for a day's work. so i tried out, with amy, and they "liked my energy" and something else i can't recall now. so they picked me and not her. i'm a little troubled to accept money to pose on behalf of gap/old navy/banana republic, etc but it will be a good experience, or at least a new experience, and 500 dollars ain't bad either. i think i need a scanner.

there's an ant crawling on my screen, and it looks very cool.


today's muzzik:

eve put on some of her fly shit - "land of the loops" - surreal techno sample beats stuff.


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