Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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3 May 2001

1988 Honda Civic

Honda Civic

What if you loan your car to someone, they're driving it, the car starts to smell real bad, and then it stalls, and then they pour oil in it, and drive it 15 more miles and then take it to a mechanic, and the car is pronounced dead?

What if that person is your ex-girlfriend?

What if the same sort of car death happened a few years before when you were together and you were told then "don't drive a car having mechanical problems - have it towed to a mechanic."?

What if you'd just put $1000 into fixing the car the day before you loaned it to your ex-girlfriend? What if the mechanic says the new parts caused old parts to break, but that wouldn't have been a problem if the car wasn't driven while it was choking? What if you don't have a job, but you do have credit card debt and it's going to cost $1000 to put a new engine in the 180,000 mile car? What if you can't be intensely functional where you live without an automobile?

What if you're inclined to believe the mechanic? What if you don't want this to come between you and your ex-girlfriend but you can't help but feel upset and angry? What if she already has more debt than you do? What if you can't figure out who to blame and you wish you could just work real hard for a few weeks and make the problem go away?

What is the lesson? Car dependence is evil? Don't loan expensive stuff? Assess judgement and hold parties accountable? Sell everything to pay down debt and live on the road? Get a real job and attempt financial security? Search even harder for peace in my soul? Realize that all things decay and are reborn and somewhere is beauty in all current events if only you breathe right relax and open your eyes?

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