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my sexually transmitted disease

I feel like a real veteran of the sexual revolution, engaging in free love cost me a few weeks of peeing pain.

In a heated moment of passion at Swarthmore, I was with a woman, we were fairly intoxicated, screwing without protection.

I think I asked her about her sexual history, not really paying that much attention to the guys with whom she'd shared carnal knowledge.

A few days later, I noticed a strange smell in the shower, when I was cleaning my penis. A sort of old sex smell, not a happy odour.

Next I'm noticing pain before, during and after urination. Aching like I have to pee for relief, but peeing does little but further agitate it.

School was shortly over. In Chicago, I visited a urologist who thrust a cotton tipped metal probe half inch down my urethra while I let out a gut wrenched snarl.

Stuck in the ass with some antibiotic, and diagnosed with nonspecific urethritis, I was given a dour prescription - take these blue deoxycycline twice a day without food, stay out of the sun, refrain from edjaculation.

Unfortunately, I'd just begun experimenting with a prosexual vitamin regimen. I was taking over 5 substances a day designed to prolong hard-ons and enhance arousal. Without a partner, I was masturbating twice a day, like I hadn't since I first started at fourteen.

The pain was bad. I left for my brother's college graduation, forgot my pills (as well as my vitamins). I was reissued drugs in Massachussets, forgot to take them.

The peeing pain had largely abated, now I only suspected my illness with a slight achiness after ejaculation.

In San Francisco, I went to a homeopathic doctor to see about eradicating it all together - I thought perhaps he'd have a more approachable cure.

I spoke for twenty minutes and he told me I suffered from a lack of focus. He advised me to lay off smoking pot while he prescribed me cannabis sativa. Little white distilled essence of cannabis pellets.

I had just had run in with the police so I wanted to know if I would be in trouble if they caught me with it. "Don't worry, if they test it in a lab, they won't find anything but sugar."

So I'm taking a placebo?

All of it seemed to work, it don't hurt no more when I cum or pee. I've got to get tested to know for sure.

She was a wonderful woman, the sex was fantastic. She was on the pill, so I thought it was all roses. I don't like condoms, unprotected sex feels better. But lemme tell ya', sex with a condom sure beats unspecified urethritis.

sex with a condom sure beats unspecified urethritis.

As my friend Jennifer said,
The goddess says you should wrap your meat.

My family caught wind of this, my uncle Jim and aunt Lori asked me how my fever was (nudgenudge winkwink). George flat out made fun of me. How's your drip?

I think it was a nicely non-fatal reminder to curb the indulgence.

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