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Crazy Jerry Karnas:

Wicked Hasslehoffs Man

29 December 1993

- Hey Justin man, ahhh, what's goin' on? -

Interrupted sorting out my retirement accounts, "Hey not much man, jus' chillin'."

"Yeah man? You jus' chillin'?" a smile accompanies the question.

"Yeah dude, there ain't much goin' on right now, I'm jus' chillin' 'till later."

Picking, twisting, chewing his beard, "Yeah man, what's going on later?" he looks furtively to his left, then to his right.

"Oh I dunno, just the usual," which is true. I list the typical Saturday night Swarthmore fare for him, "some band at Old Club, an around the world at Wharton, an all campus dance at Tarble."

He picks up a magazine laying on top of my dresser, flips through it quickly, lays it down - "Well, needless to say I won't be going to any of those places" and he punctuates his statement with a knowing glance and a raised pair of eye brows.

I respond as I watch him walk over to my bed and sit down on top of my pillow, "I thought I heard the band at Old Club was pretty cool."

Fishing in my 'fridge, he withdraws a bottle of Snapple. Looking up at me, he asks quickly, "You don't mind if I have some?" and a shake of my head with a wave of my hand sends him guzzling three quarters of the bottle. Wiping his mouth and reinserting the container, he looks over at my roommate's posters and responds to me, "Aww. Awww. Aww dude," this spoken in a voice perched somewhere between dire prediction and yet unable to control a nervous giggle, "wicked hasslehoffs dude." He rises to look through my roommate's CD collection again. "I've never really had a chance to look through your roommate's CDs."

"What else is there to do tonight then Jerry?"

He pulls out a disc, looks at me with a raised eyebrow and shakes his head. He looks at a few more, "Your roommate's a weird dude man. Have you seen the shit he listens to?"

"Yeah, it's fucked up man. Did you see that Proclaimers disc?"

That dire laugh again, "Haughhaughhaughhaugh. So fuckin' weird." He leaves the CD on the wrong shelf for a magazine on my bed. "Yeah, so, I dunno man, ahhh, what are we gonna do?"

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