3 march, 1996

3 march, 1996

in a low computer moment,
I today lost
thousands of inbound e-mail messages
nearly everything unanswered
between november and february
new mail will come
no doubt
so easy to lose them
it almost feels a blessing.

someone from Williams college
said I reminded them of chris tweney
a bespectacled long blond computer philosophy nut
protege of Mark Taylor
humanities and computers dude
chris did work for ziff-davis
and he's proudly posted
"Williams Democrats for Buchanan"
dangerous, to give a polemic a podium.
surfing around
the williams student pages
I itched and revose
the swarthmore student pages
(just a start - everything's a process)
my only problem is figuring out the file structure metaphor
I mean let's put all of life online
sure,
but what's the metaphor?
spatial?
temporal?
how do we organize this stuff?

someday the net will be a big database
and it just won't matter.
each web page will be a search
dynamic individual truth persuit.
but we gots to be sayin' stuff until then!
I'm distracted by the impermanence -
putting work into structure
that will be a burden to change tomorrow

and it don't stop.

mariah calls
finds me dissin'
what ever happened to the goddess?
moseying through her cute guys
her health troubles
her shifting priorities
her intangible development as a person
somehow declined to share mine
I peek through judgement
insincerity
energy conservation
I have work to do
still labouring thru
time and the other
I could give myself
in conversation
but the wandering
the indulgence
it's rubbing me petty

I want to be angry at her for those petty things but they are mostly mine.
it's almost her 18th birthday
no one deserves my disillusion
so I asked to homework alone
telephone talk spared
let's work by face.
our love is touch
I am less distracted.

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