22 january
my brother loves sensational newsthe other day, elly inadvertently exposed to me my own propensity for depression. she posted a picture where i saw similar sadness in my eyes to that of my dad's:
but still i beat him to the latest clinton sex story,
thank you matt drudge.
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wilson eats three bowls of grapenuts a daylook at my right eyeone sentence about each of the young men with whom i spend the most time here at swarthmore:
cover up the dark side of my face with your thumb.
ben's new year's resolution was to tell more lies
duncan pulled a door open into his head, got a few stiches above his eyebrow
he bought the uncensored jerry springer,earlier, when times were still good, she confessed somehow in a collegiate drinking game that she'd never experienced orgasm,
tonight, we drank a little and watched it.
twice. he is satan, a homewrecker,
in this video,
this man slept with your wife fifteen times in your bed,
let's bring on.... larry!then they restrain the ensuing fight and return people to their chairs for another round
i had never seen this shit.
amy saw it once, live, on lsd.
i enjoy her writing.
wilson draws cartoons to accompany editorials in the news papergood meeting today with phil weinstein, my thesis advisor.
sometimes they're too bad for him to deal with.
he reshared a henry james quote with me on what phil calls the perils of autobiography: "terrible fluidity of self-revelation"
like resolution
it's definitely fluid, definitely self-revelation, is it terrible?
not for her.
terrible, how. hmmm.i've definitely shifted away from my hard core free verse days, partially due to overexertion.
after last night, i had significant, uncannily so, i ching reading (53 -> 39), and consulting myself, and called amy and she revealed such a depth of love and knowing of me, i felt something
today i fully recovered my compass and i love that girl
when i am depressed, sleeping on my forehead on my desk after 8 hours sleep the night before
thinking of relations to test and reject
i don't love myself and i can't love her
but now, i look forward again to the grand chase,
living with her and playing our games,
we have such fun. tonight, after jerry springer, i drank some,
and went out with people, pub nite,
and helped jen puke in a worth bathtub for hours,
encouraging her to drink water
and helping her puke by describing linguini in clam sauce, raw oysters, hot buttered movie popcorn, and menstrual consumption.
she complained,
my first thought: i can provide that!
super man
then, i realized,
jen, you should demand the men you sleep with service you proper!and then, i realized her situation,
i don't touch myself, it's icky.
well, you won't please yourself,
and you're not going to lose enough control for anyone else to help yougood luck girl.
turns out she has standing bets - she stands to lose money if she ever does successfully cum.
people are weird.
anyways,
thesis.
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justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>