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To love and lose?

Date: Sun, 29 Jan 1995 17:29:33 -0500
Subject: help
I am involved with this guy. We have been dating for about a month. He is moving in about four months. I think I might fall for him. I am a virgin. I want to sleep with him...but he is moving! I am 19, he is 21. He is a senior, and I am a freshman. He is moving when he graduates in May. HELP.

You've been seeing him for about a month, and you are feeling the pressure to sleep with him already, huh? Ahhh youth. Tough stuff, especially when you are a virgin. The first and foremost thing is that you not feel pressure, from him, or yourself, or anyone else, to sleep with him before you are good and ready.

If you are indeed going to fall for him, sex will indeed aid the process. Especially when you are a virgin. Sex can be transcendant, so if the sex between you is good, it will in all likelyhood bring up some very strong feelings.

The problem is that he's leaving! And he's not leaving for four months! So even if you decide not to have sex with him, you will have this tasty morsel on your hands for weeks! Arrgh!

But if you do decide to have sex with him, and it changes your life (as it surely would) his leaving could be agony.

I serve you a cliche, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

If you dig him, and he digs you, the sex will probably be good, and could enhance your relationship. I say go for it. But first, look within yourself. Do you think you can handle being connected to him if he is going to leave? If you don't think you can handle his being gone, then you may want to protect yourself. Remember, though, that you are young, and things tend to be less settled, and more transient at the tender age of 19. If you trust him, and you feel ready to have sex, enjoy yourself!

Let me know how it turns out!


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