Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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I have a pattern in my life of close relationships with male scorpios. Of all species common to the zodiac, the scorpio the most wiley intense and consumed. My brother exacted a stern physical toll on me for disobedience, or lack of respect. GK liked to beat on me in the halls at Parker between classes.

Jesse was subtler. He avoided physical contact, but he relentlessly manipulated his peers.

Starting in fifth grade, we were on and off close friends. He was always close with one guy or another.

During the transitions between guys, he would pit us against each other in situations designed to favour one over the other. He was so damn charismatic that we played into his hand, fighting against someone with whom we had no qualms. He would lay back on his bed, in his boxers and his t-shirt, and laugh until he cried. He would laugh and laugh, while other folks got caught up, or not, in the intense edgy hilarity.

When he didn't instigate fights between folks, he would withhold a television remote control or a pen or a telephone number and either laugh crying in the persons face, or engage them in an intense attempt at convincing them they didn't really want what they were after. Persisting to an absolutely surreal point of truth fabrication, valiantly misquoting and answering for the frustrated party.

Chicks dug Jesse; the good ones, bad ones, rich or poor, young or old, I remember hearing about somebodies Mom talking excitedly about him on more than one occasion. Certainly every woman I ever tried to woo at Parker had at one time lusted over Jesse, many having been fulfilled.

Long about seventh grade, he joined me in my initial forays into seventh grade sexuality. Boy, he was off and running, always in the fast crowd, speeding up everyone around him.

He certainly didn't put the brakes on with my first girlfriend Sage.

He was fuck all the edge to hang out with - late night naughties. Calling girls at 2am, sneaking out of the house, lying to my parents.

Mom didn't like me hanging out with Jesse.

Jesse's Mom was hands off. He was the only kid I knew with not only his own bedroom, but a key lock on the door. He pretty much came and went as he pleased. Hanging out with him, I wanted to be like that too!

He was always musically oriented. We started off listening to the Police together. In high school, he played saxophone, jazz with Jeeks.

Summer of 1994, he turned to me and said, "I'm really into funk. James Brown, Funkadelic, funk is my latest thing." He seemed to anticipate that trend nicely - it was certainly trendy at Swarthmore soon thereafter.

Summer of 1995, he turned to me and said, "I'm taking salsa lessons, I'm listening to Tito Phuente. Latin music, that's my thing."

I wouldn't be surprized if he's right with that one. The sizeable hispanic population in this country would certainly back him up. It's part of the international music thing.

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