August 2013 Archives

sexy play & boundaries at Burning Man

[recent email advisory about sexual boundaries at Burning Man]

We are preparing for a desert adventure in just a few weeks. Burning Man can be a fun chance to experiment with play, and boundaries!

CONSULT YOURSELF AND YOUR PARTNER - you may be propositioned at Burning Man and within your camp. Your neighbors (and strangers on the playa!) may request hand holding, kisses, hugs, s in contact, genital exposure, boob squeezing, testicle juggling, smiles, spanking and ???

If you are single, then it's up to you what you want to do! Moment by moment, person by person! Give that some thought, and keep checking in with yourself.

If you are in a relationship, consider having a discussion with your partner. Especially if your partner is not camping with you at Burning Man! "Do you mind if I make out with strangers? Friends? People of the same gender? People of other genders? Only on droogz? Only sober? Can I participate in group masturbation with people of the same gender? Would you rather I didn't ask you these questions, because you trust me to have fun as long as I play safe? Would you rather I have no physical contact the entire week in the desert, save for discreet sunblock application by trusted third parties?"

Knowing what your boundaries are ahead of time can save you worrying and wondering and allow you to participate with an open mind and open heart. I believe it's better to have the boundaries you want, and stick to them throughout a wild week, as opposed to not knowing what the limits are, and starting off resolutely celibate, and then drifting into a Southern-Comfort fueled bender covering you in jizz, each of your hands smelling like a different pussy - then feeling sad that you might have betrayed your partner's trust.

ENJOY YOUR BOUNDARIES - you will have sexy and pouty moods, times when you want to be alone, and times when you want to be held, or even groped.

Feel free to expect to be asked before you are touched or licked or kissed. Feel free to give any answer, at any time.

Here's an example:

- you are standing near a dusty red camp chair, wondering where you put your sunblock. Someone walks up, and says, "can I kiss you?"


Let's practice consent, asking permission for shared physical intimacy and pleasure. You should feel free to say "no" or "maybe tomorrow" or "only on the cheek" or "yes!"

If you said "yes" yesterday, you should feel free to say "no" today. Saying "yes" to a kiss doesn't mean you've also said yes to a cock rodeo in the gray water disposal area. It's a mutual practice of consent to feel out how sexy we want to be together.

Burning Man offers massive potential to explore yourself on many fronts. If you're sexually curious, but the idea of making out with your neighbors is awkward, you can wander the playa and find seminars, workshops, orgies, play parties, cuddle fests, kissing booths - you can find your way and find your fun on your own terms.

You can also spend the entire week calm, self-contained, and enjoy yourself without sex or kissing at all. Hurrah!

Hopefully between establishing your boundaries and practicing consent, you can enjoy sexy Burning Man good times with confidence, safety and smiles -



[Postscript: here's another piece of Burning Man sexy times advice: Don't have Sex in your Tent]

tweetering from @justsexin

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