so anyways, I'm like at this party, outside now actually9.35 doug block call, I was already awakethe voice of shaggy from shaggy still broadcasting
naked in bed
post sarongdid I wake you
so have you used the toilet
casey's top 40
he's still plugged in to the youth demographic
legions of 12 year old fans
U2caseynegativland - an au worth waiting for, if you have 2.8megstime to spare.
indian breakfast buffet with dara and ali
indiana and the west coast
ali, next to mustache, intends to work at taco bell.if you haven't heard, her navaho life-lover psychicly called her here
they're supposed to meet this month. somehow she thinks I'm the appropriate advisor in this case.
so then I gave a talk
they put me up on a two foot stage
like a band that was weird
the audience was small enough, say 25-40,
so we went around the room for introductions
for over one and half hours. coriel was there
other folks too, but I can't find the attendance sheetproblem is when the talk deteriorates into philosophy
good advice from kevin to help folks loose butt blood
is stand and stretch and move at 90 mins,
or 50 intervals, like we're ustah from school ali stands around watching html development of a community site
why?
can't be that entertaining, she didn't seem to be edimicating hesself
every one in while she'd turn to me to ask me about her man
what can I do to call him to me?
are you trying to read me she would ask
as I stared back at her, thinking about indiana
girl so young underbite
did get some community wiring done
kevin from native seeds/search stayed late to code some future pages
doo rag is set to play, they sound like robert johnson, it's reputed
playing cardbord boxes and slide guitar
acting cool, bob I like
he did 48 shows in 55 days
the shows planned by a booking agent, places to stay found hour by hour
he drives, they drive a van from date to date, get to be a good driver
and I thought I had it rough on greyhound
they played second stage at a holland fest
turned towards the same 60000 as the first stage
no sound check, go out and play
45000 took a collective coke breakanyways, after several hours doing internet standup,
another hour of tangible support native seed site building with cojant kevin
then some photos on the roof with carolyn
I'm kind of beat, anti-social, just feeling a little like some production retreat
now standing in an alley, computer propped standing on a pickuptruckback
being almost two weeks behind increases the zen, but I'm about ready for a full retreatespecially when I'm standing around parties where people seem too old to be hip
or it's not coming easy
maybe it's cuz I'm not drinking beer
or my sex is on my brain too hard
stops communication when I can't resist quick looks at burgeoning tits in tite shits
ah man, this shit is getting me down - I'm sorta in a needy way
invitation feeling lonely and distended
perhaps this is how road love commerce works
need for comfort like home is sex and actual just body companion ship
I don't really touch so many people
and now to see everyone looks luscious and so I'm a little lonely
in the midst of a crowd
so start feeling like hl menken
that socialism society socializing
it's a disease
standing in the corner, I watch everyone's nervous ticks with my own bemused grin
hoping to be noticed observing
thinking of tangents like
men introduce themselves more often in conversation than women just start talking
when a woman, a gemini heidi introduces herself and largely blows the theory out
still somewhat true - she's young, perhaps hasn't been properly socialized
she's like from california and she lounges on the couch in makeup and just revealing a little trendy clotheson the roof, carolyn told me her vision for webified super-8 mini movies to rudolf the red nosed movie soundtrack heat miser weirdness - she's topless with red paint on her chest
so she hands the camera back to me after a few shots
and sez do what you will
so I say, we could shoot the rudolf without the red stuff
and then I feel like an asshole so I play it off
I'm 21, and I've been on the road a long time
the last time I played physical was too rough for the wrong reasons
I am feeling a little distended never rested never home home home
and when I'm there
I'll long for the roadso it's like what I was noticing at the party
people like to get out and socialize
some make a cause of it
either way
most folks have their nervous twitches
pulling their ear playing with beer labels shifting feet
I wonder if it's performative cuz they know I'm conscious self and neurotic alone they feel it and lose some sense of self-confidence
and I notice one or two people who seem so
and I want their strength
talk to me, be fun, be yourselves
so I can recharge
notice me and connect please
but I'm too needy, there's too many friends here
I'm out in an alley
farting in a sarong
standing is good for my posture typing
a dog walks by and I'm petrified he's going to smell my fear
doo rag kict butt
like fast jams on blues style slide guitar fast and old cans drum bird cage
slam bam yeah
oh yeah, dancin' even
mr lulu chiuahua kept time barking I mean the whole time
working just as hard as the band
love that multigenerational party - lil kids and parents keep it a different sort of honest - nice to see ageless cocarousing
got two sound samples for ye:
steady raggin 345k aiff
doo doggin' 234k aiff
fresh recorded on site on my laptop!
time after music was victora
woke up this morn decided to move to a lighthouse
it's good to have goals
reminded me somewhere between rya and chandra
her own world
I wasn't so tolerant
but I'm lone and that's refreshing - wacky, singing, astrology
tangents like waiting after her so kind drive me home
wondering if she really needs to go to the bathroom
really needs to go home and feed
little tubby pumpkin pie mcgillikitty.
club misst the tripmastery monkeyband from idio with dave and christine
all night grill
I guessed her age right 32
no one else thought so
in broken french
I ask for a parting kiss
turns into what I ax for
against a wall pusching grouning
ah, so soon over impulse
and then I am led to the bed
maybe I never wanted it to last beyond five minutes
when the five minutes were fury
but bed diddles were nice
I arrived twice
though I could have used the extra hour sleepmy nails were too long
I had little control
I aroused her and didn't follow through once thoroughly satisfied, so she rubbed some on my leg like
now the sun is risen
r n b on the radio morning time
I smell like saliva
I'm four cities behind.
justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>