Justin's Links

blinding smiling

Two articles due in these two days. Time to visit the eyedoctor for some pupil popping drops, making these bizarre glasses necessary and work difficult. Prescription remains the same: -8.50 diopters left, -8.75 diopters right.

Enjoying life between appointments and assignments: picking up a stinky cheese at Whole Foods and smiling at the pritty gurls.

bug bitten and sunburnt

Arrived back from Georgia/Florida today, bug bitten and sunburnt. Neighbor/caretaker Oliver and his son Michael were in the living room here eating pork chops and watching Matlock. I'm glad someone was using the cable!

not in my front yard

one day layover at home between the GDC and a friends's wedding in Georgia.

Neighbor Oliver stops by with a question: where do I find cheap plane tickets? I don't, I realized, I nearly always buy plane tickets from United Airlines. More proof that the Mileage Plus/Frequent Flyer programs are among the most successful promotions in the history of brands and merchandise (WSJ journalist Ron Lieber's theory). I fly United even if it costs me a bit more, because they treat me nice - I accrue advantages. Not much use to my neighbor I think, who wanted to hear about some kind of magic web site,where overlooked tickets wait for smart eager clickers to travel the world for pennies. I'm no such magician, but I can tell you that if you fly one airline frequently for years and years, you'll be able to fly business class more than you would otherwise.

Oliver has one of the few manicured stretches of grass on this block. He looks after his yard. Heck his window is high on the street, so he looks after just about everything. He sees when people come and go, and if they leave anything behind. Oliver shared his technique for dealing with our neighbors who let their dogs poop on his lawn. If they leave crap on his grass, he shovels it on to a paper plate and leaves it on their porch. He laughed: many people have even stopped walking their dogs on his side of the street.

back to bot flies

When I was travelling in Honduras, I stayed with Laurie and Ethan, two Peace Corps volunteers living on the North coast. They had a dog, nicknamed "Hondo" who had a few swollen infections in his knee. Turns out these infections were bot flies - bot flies who plant their larva where mosquitos pick them up, and then the mosquitos bite a mammal and leave the larva under the skin, where it pupates and grows until it matures enough to fly out in a shower of blood and torn skin. At least that's how I understood it. I pulled the bot fly larva out of the dog's knee with my leatherman pliers while Ethan held him still. Poor dog.

I rushed back from Austin this last week, after a 6 hour Mesa-airlines delay (like Joi described). Two hours after being on the ground, I was at a hotel in downtown Oakland, working as scribe, webmaster and scratch artist for the Indie Game Jam 2. Someone requrested some "sprites" - game characters resembling flies. I went through house flies, tsetse flies, and finally I remembered bot flies. I wasn't prepared for graphic unsettling photos of bot fly infestation of human eyeballs. Whew.

However, I was pleasantly surprised by pictures of wildflowers and their associates - high resolution pictures of flowers and bugs that love them, taken by someone passionate about insect. Pretty potato beetle!

South by Southwestern

South by Southwest March 12-17, 2004 Austin Texas	A technology media culture conference amidst TexMex, BBQ and cheap beer. Yum. I've been going to SXSW since 1999; here's some coverage of 2002, 2003. And coverage of 2004 below. Besides that, I wrote an article about the ideas in the air this year: "Social Surveillance for Mobile Media" on TheFeature.com.
	There, by the grace of Hugh, am I. Picture with the conference organizer for South by Southwest Interactive, a man I have cadjoled, disappointed and delighted in for years now. He's been very kind to give me an excuse to come to a great town, participate in a smart fun conference. Photo by Seabrook.
	The "Blogumentary" team.
	Howard stands under a mural at the Telepathic Tattoo parlor.
	Dan and Howard talking over Mexican food. I later joined them in the quiet lounge atop the Crown Plaza hotel, talking journalism.
	Anil and Jason - black-shirted, blue-jeaned brothers in business blogging.
	Lia (cheesedip) and Yi-May Chinese American Princess) with an umbrella in her hair. Nice to put faces on URLs!
	Lia (cheesedip) took this photo of me.
	Cory brandishes well-deserved BoingBoing awards as Boris hoists a star over his head
	The Electronic Frontier Foundation's Wendy working hard in the green room.
	Jane conducted a panel on multiplayer online games, with James, embedded reporter in an MMOG and Sheri, author of a book on gender-inclusive game design.
	I had a panel immediately after, about Games and Art. One of the panelists didn't show - I used my mobile phone to carry his voice - details here. Comments after the panel: interesting, the speaker-phone worked, but it wasn't the panel described in the booklet. Someone suggested I do that panel as described next year!
	The front row at the Online Dating panel included John, danah and Molly.
	As the event wound down, I joined a group of WI-FI sippers riding out the last bits and bytes. "Hey Cory, let's go to dinner!" "Hold on - I'm installing a new operating system upgrade." Joi played clips of Rumsfeld on Meet the Press for David and Andy. And danah and I were there too.
	Warren and Caroline, at an Austin Game Developers's Party.
	Kevin and Tom, from OK-Cancel, with the cards they designed - I wrote about them on GameGirlAdvance.
	Meg and Ryan at La Mexicana. I ate there four times, each time after 11pm. Delicious chile relleno, meat and vegetarian tacos, and on the last night, I took a recommendation for chicarones - cooked pork skins stuffed in a taco-type deal. Good chance to practice my Spanish.
	Cookies at La Mexicana - colorful. But I didn't eat any!
	My hosts at La Mexicana, and elsewhere - Randy and Lulu.
	Lulu is an expert chef, practicing daily. Here she works up simple delicious kale and olives with garlic.
	Lulu is an expert chef, practicing daily. Here she kneads dough for oven-baked wheat bread. Her t-shirt reads: "Fawn are Scanamping"
	Randy speaks to Ryan on my mobile phone during an AMODA show.
	This is Treewave, two folks playing dot matrix printers and old Atari hardware. Fantastic! I invited him to be on my panel, but he was too busy.
	Meg took this picture, saying I looked a bit like Less Than Zero. I was smiling too wide here for a total night denizen look though.
	Zack lifts some large BBQ to his mouth. All week, it was BBQ and TexMex. And Lulu's vegetarian fare! Good eating.
	In Bruce Sterling's library, Zack Rosen meets Zack Simpson - standing Zack Simpson is responsible for the moving Shadow Garden, playing with human form and computer interaction. Zack has self-taught himself enough biology to be working in a graduate studies lab doing advanced biotech research. Listening to him and Cory talk about future scenarios for smart bacteria was brain stirring.

Your War, Our Dead

"Your War, Our Dead" was one cry heard in Spain recently, around the time of the election, just after a tragic terrorist bombing. The results from the election are in - the Socialists defeated the more conservative Popular Party that had been in power, and was expected to win. Why? According to coverage in the New York Times ("Vote Is Overshadowed by Attack and Ongoing Investigation") voters were upset on two fronts - they felt the government was dishonest about the culprits in the bombings, and they were expressing long-simmering unrest over an unjustly undertaken war. Citizens voting against the war ticket? I wonder if we might see that happen in the United States this year - taking a cue from Spain. "Your War, Our Dead."

Here's another consideration - the bombing took place just before the election, and tipped the results. Was that a goal of the terrorists? And what might happen in the United States in the weeks and days before November 3rd?

questions of fidelity, purpose and passion

Landed in Austin. Taco and trying on cowboy boots within 30 minutes off the tarmac. Thanks Lulu.

My current life is a series of conversations which break up my listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Each time I'm alone with my thoughts again, there's a Karen O refrain echoing around my skull and I slip my ears back into that hard sensual confirmation. It's really the perfect soundtrack to my study, an inquiry into sacred sexuality. Over the last few weeks I've arranged enough contacts and mailing lists that now when I open my laptop, the information appears before me: to feed my brain. And my friends call with problems that all seem to revolve around core questions about fidelity, purpose and passion.

what a feeling!

what a feeling! I finished my initial tax preparation for my accountant. I officially switched from furry slippers to flip-flops as my home lounge wear. I took a break from the daily festivities to sit outside, sun-bathing and reading the New Yorker.

All this and I'm still coming down off of my night - witnessing Performance Rituals of Sex Shamans in 21st Century San Francisco. And participating! Slightly.

I made a video today (more fun!). Download: gravytrain.wmv - 1.34mb.

what free time does to a person

This month I did intensive research into Nintendo's wireless strategy; some glimpse of that is available here: the Moment for Mini-Games (TheFeature.com). And more mobile phone journaling for that site as well. On Game Girl Advance, I wrote about video game culture and social networks. On Chanpon, I wrote about super-nostalgic train tones.

For the January issue of Infineon magazine ("the culture of technology") I contributed "Tokyo Underground" a piece about the trains and subways of Tokyo (based loosely on this). Souris said "We Love Your Meat." Anil recounted our time together, saying we understood boundaries (a pleasant phrasing).

Next week, three panels at SXSW, an interactive media conference in Austin Texas: Monday 15 March: Blogging Next (where is web publishing headed?), Mobile, Massively Multiuser Gaming (when will we have mobile multiplayer gaming, and what will that mean?), and Tuesday: Play to Learn, which I put together (how does playing video games affect creative work?).

And Robin poses above, smiling with big style vintage fur trim soon to be recycled and sunglasses indoors. It's her birthday Monday!

After SXSW, the Indie Game Jam in Oakland, then the Game Developer's Conference in San Jose. A wedding that weekend on a small island in Georgia. And then I have no more airplane trips planned for the rest of 2004. Probably some might arise. But I'm contemplating all April and May and the summer with only driving to do if I want to travel. Ain't gonna be sick no more, at least from what I get on planes. No big projects either - some writing, some helping friends, but otherwise, wondering what free time does to a person.

What happens when I stays home, in one place? Ben said "Sounds like you're gonna have a 'Come to Justin' meeting." And so I am.

Northern California Weekend

I flew back from London gray cold fog Monday. The next day was Oakland sunshine. It took me until Saturday to realize and exclaim - I live in California! Blessed with sunshine, fresh food and the people who make their way here. I feel lucky to have this area as my home.

Bevin demonstrates the pump organ she and Jay took delivery of recently. It's like a musical stairmaster - only by steadily kneading the device with your feet can you get any tones to come out. She was pretty elegant with her pumping and playing; I sat down and felt like I was running a race. Probably trying too hard! Then Martin sat down, and with Jay pulling out the stops, he played at some length some mix of music that could have come from a organ but only after the emergence of ambient. Annick over his shoulder, admiring the giant old wood machine and the music it made. Listen for yourself: singalong (123 kb .wav file).

Anil was visiting San Francisco. We met at his hotel and made our way to China town for lunch. Shortly we passed a large group of people dressed as dogs or nuns, soldiers or brides, or naked, pushing shopping carts and running through the streets - the Urban Iditarod. I love San Francisco. Anil and I had both been to, and admired, House of Nanking. I asked Alan for a good alternate recommendation. He advised us to eat at Yuet Lee - excellent seafood. Here, Anil photographs the fried squid, the garlic ginger crab, and the pea sprouts in garlic sauce. The fried squid grew on us, the pea sprouts were great but seemed more like spinach, and the crab was tasty but testy. Anil was shocked at how difficult and slow eating crab was. I think crab is my current favorite sin food. Then we strolled about Chinatown and North Beach, ending up near the excellent bizarre colonial Dreaming Room, just down the street from City Lights, next door to Vesuvio. The Dreaming Room has a mix of ethnic and religious totems from nearly all continents and eras, including Lois Anderson's Altar (which is soon moving to the Oakland Museum). I love the place because they have things that look like they just don't belong in this dimension - items that were supposed to have been hurled into the volcano to keep the human race from being consumed by demonic fires. Here, Anil prepares his camera phone to snap a shot of a human skull with horns lashed to it using leather thongs. He later snapped a photo of me sitting in Union Square. Note to self: improve posture.

Ten month old Clementine smiles at the photographer, a wide, increasingly toothy grin. All the screams and snot are worth it in those moments. Mother Jen looks on benevolently. Chris reduces vermouth in a pan coated in pork chop, with garlic and butter. Chris makes an excellent saucier. Jen reaches for something in the cabinet; wearing a Tokion t-shirt, Alan looks on, preparing his vast appetite.

switch hitting the i ching

I had a decision to make. Yesterday I called Howard.
Why not ask the I Ching? he suggested.

It had been years since I rolled coins to see where my question landed amidst 64 possible outcomes. The I Ching is a system of personal divination, less useful for prediction, more useful for "suggested modes of thinking." You outline your dilemma, and the I Ching responds with a metaphor, a frame for consideration.

Except in this case, I found that the I Ching didn't seem to care what my question was. I asked how I should consider spending time deepening my understanding and relationship to creative people I respect, versus time spent deepening my relationship with people outside of media. The answer I got ultimately seemed to rise up to reinforce nearly all the other lessons I've had racketing around my gray cells for the last few weeks, shedding precious little light on this particular moment but perhaps giving me tools to stay alive and awake.

I rolled three coins. The numbers came up: eight in the first place, eight in the second place, seven in the third. Then the second trigram: eight in the first place, eight in the second place, seven in the third place. Two identical trigrams! That was unusual.

I checked my Wilhelm/Baynes. Two Chên - The Arousing. The commentary read as an exhortation to action. Bold action! Shocking action! Not exactly what I expected; I read through all my I Ching books to see what kind of actionable clue their might be. So far, my takeaway was "just do something interesting!" The reading didn't seem to address my dilemma directly, but it did talk about reverence and calm in the face of too much activity. I read still more books and resolved to let the lesson sink into my over the next few days.

Curiously browsing through my R.L. Wing's I Ching, I saw her instructions - cast the I Ching from the bottom. Stack the lines on top of one-another. Whoops! I forgot that. I rewrote my 8-8-7-8-8-7 from the bottom up, and went back to my Wilhelm:

Kên - keeping still, mountain. A wildly different reading - less shock and motion, quiet instead. And here was some poetry that spoke to me: "The heart thinks constantly. This cannot be changed, but the movements of the heart - that is, a man's thoughts - should restrict themselves to the immediate situation. All thinking that goes beyond this only makes the heart sore." That resonated strong - all thinking that goes beyond the immediate situation mostly makes the heart sore. That's ambition and doubt. All those extra minutes of my day I wonder what's to become of me! Or what kind of decision I should make. Hah!

Throwing long-range project planning to the wind, I woke up the next day to do some work for Mimi and clean my home. Living room and dining room, bedroom. Hey, home, here I am! Everything else I have to do will be easier if I'm calm and cleaned up.

everything I need to know I learned from rock biographies

Last night I had a shot of whiskey and a sleeping pill on my desk. I realized eventually I shouldn't swallow one with the other. I picked the sleeping pill, for long-term jetlag fighting effects. The more I sleep the better for all involved. And so I spilled the whiskey all over my desk. To avoid temptation?

Tonight, my cold is bad again. Something about the descent into sleep, laying flat, it stirs my throat. So I'll drink whiskey tonight. Nature's cough suppressant. Fewer side effects than the candy liquid stuff. But no sleeping pills. Not together. I'm learning some good sense!

Just In Tokyo Released to the Waiting Web

I lived in Japan between October 2001 and January 2003. Mostly Tokyo. I published a guide book in September 2002, called Just In Tokyo: "How to Live as an Urban Nomad in the World's Most Expensive City." It was great fun - I wrote it up and laid the whole thing out; the pages are busy, just as I like 'em.

My publisher was Garrett County Press, in New Orleans. After about a year, we agreed to take the guidebook off the market. I would have published the thing forever, but it was selling slow (slow and steady!) and losing some of its direct relevance as it aged.

So I've released it to the web, under a Creative Commons license. Just In Tokyo PDF - download it for your next trip to Tokyo! Visit the Tokyo of the mind! Print it out. Push it into your PDA. Chant it in an airplane bathroom. As you will! Donations appreciated - I'm still paying off the debt from my time in Japan! Hah!

euro pix

	I went to London to visit my brother in February 2004. This is a picture of my brother.
	I ate plenty of full English breakfasts.
	I met my brother's friends Mike and Vic for dinner. Mike is working on To Do Before I Die, a collection of lists and stories, activities and goals people have for their remaining lifetime. I've been giving him advice about the web, how to promote the idea and encourage more stories from folks.
	I went out dancing and I got real excited. I jumped up and down, punching the low ceiling. The next day, I saw that my knuckles were bloody.
	I tried a pipe full of tobacco for the first time. Fun affectation, overwhelming sensation. Hard to concentrate on.
	I lay on the couch reading Bel Canto for an Oakland book club, and Philip Pullman's Dark Materials series. I wrote about this picture before I posted it.
	I like Jyri. He lives in Lancaster, north of London. Oxford was a good middle point, we met for a day at the Saïd Business School.
	"There were lots of fire alarms here when the building first opened," a tour guide told us. Must be because the buttons you press to unlock the doors are placed immediately adjacent to the fire alarms. Donald Norman would be aghast. Fortunately, this particular alarm has been switched to "off."
	Oxford has lots of old buildings, and some new chain stores.
	We revelled in some of Oxford's old charms. Here is the courtyard of Christ Church, visited after hours by a few wandering miscreants since one had a key. Clack clack footsteps echo off of long stone corridors. It later grounded my reading of Philip Pullman. Listen to a sound sample: tolling bells, muffled scratches and unintelligable dialog (123k wav). Later we saw the fabulous portrait-lined heavy wood Christ Church dining hall, televised by Harry Potter. It was after hours, the door was soon closed in our staring faces. They didn't believe me when I told them we had come to help them clean up.
	We saw a monument ringed by fences. Some of those fences were covered in something called "anti-climb paint." What's that?
	Guardian heads give me the long eye.
	I encouraged Jyri to taste Marmite at breakfast. He smeared a fat load of the salty sour stuff on some hard toast. He chewed and swallowed it all. He enjoyed it for just a moment, before he recoiled in horror, gagging deeply and groping for liquid.
	Jyri recovered and we were friends again.
	I visited Paris with my brother. He speaks French. Listen to him talk to the cab driver (123k .wav file.
	I met my friend Jerome at Cafe du Flore, on Boulevard St. Germain. He's a documentary filmmaker.
	Jerome pointed out famous locals to me, like this man. This man sells newspapers. He holds the newspaper aloft, while crying out "ça y est! ça y est!" which is like "it happened! it happened!" Then he makes up a bunch of stuff. When he wandered into our cafe, he declared that parliament had lowered the retirement age to 35. Jerome says he often mingles sex and scandal, Monica and Osama to make media commentary and sales of newspapers.
	This is a picture of my brother and me in London last December.

sick circuit breaking

"And once it comes, now that I am wise in its ways, I no longer fight it. I lie down and let it happen. At first every small apprehension is magnified, every anxiety a pounding terror. Then the pain comes, and I concentrate only on that. Right there is the usefulness of migraine, there in that imposed yoga, the concentration on the pain. For when the pain recedes, ten or twelve hours later, everything goes with it, all the hidden resentments, all the vain anxieties. The migraine has acted as a circuit breaker, and the fuses have emerged intact. There is a pleasant convalescent euphoria. I open the windows and feel the air, eat gratefully, sleep well. I notice the particular nature of a flower in a glass on the stair landing. I count my blessings."

return

I write about my life on the internet. I've been doing it for ten years! A year ago, I added direct comments; nearly all of my chronological posts allow for feedback at the bottom. I've noticed that this tends to create a sort of reinforcing effect. Once in a while there's a debate, but most of the time, people tend to amplify each other, delivering more or less a strong message.

It's intriguing to watch. I write a long piece about my life, and people read between the threads and pick up on themes I don't even see, or certainly don't intend to emphasize or put up for extended discourse. And then they tell me a story in return. They give me advice! With recent medical problems, the advice is tangible. As the medical problems continue, the advice has grown from "see a doctor" to "change your lifestyle." And there are some very specific suggestions there.

And it has an effect on me. That's not bad either. At least now as I'm thinking about it. Some days I think about removing feedback, to returning to the days of solo ranting. Because I get overwhelmed. Or the threads grow out of my control.

But most of the time, the messages are on target. People study me, consider me, and give me their time and their advice. My friends have observed that I'm impressionable. Do you think that's true? Hah! It is. I ask advice widely and then tend to synthesize all manner of advice. I lean heavily on recently delivered wisdom, holding it in my mouth like a gobstopper, sucking through the layers, seldom biting until I've reduced the candy coating.

Either way I often look outside myself to see what's happening with me. And maybe I need to stop that. To learn to listen better. To sit still and feel each part of my body. Someone mentioned a type of meditation that works like that. Just sitting still and feeling individual hairs on your ankle and the blood flowing to your toes and the tension in your calf. What a wonderous articulated bag of flesh that ambulates us each day! How could we not stop to wonder between our skin cells each day, to feel all that we have still, functioning nerve endings?

I filed that meditation under "Things I should try when I am ready to sit still." Hah! And maybe I will be ready to sit still soon. Since Wednesday I've read four novels. I had to sit still to read them. I could have been writing or drawing or poking around. I was on the road, and books were a comfort, that's true.

But I can feel it! Believe me, yes feel new words from my fingers like the first glimpses of hair poking out of my chest - maturity dictates listening better I hope and I've heard my own throaty cry, perpetually sick. I have a few things I missed for all my illness this time around - some parties, an eager spirit of life, the chance to savor London and Paris better. What did I gain? Quiet time with one of my favorite people. I'm going to go home now. I'll read. I'll paint. I'll clean up. I'll work. I'll take ten days of trips in the next sixty days. That's fifty days at home! A seventh of a year. Glory hallelujah.

I became a single man in October. Alone working, alone living. At that time I dedicated myself to the eradication of my debts. I've been double and triple booked for writing assignments since then, generating articles and research reports, editing book chapters. So now I glimpse into my coffers and it looks like I might soon be even.

And I start to think, hey if I keep up this pace, I can get ahead! Save some money! Buy a Macintosh! Invest for the future. Finance a wonderful trip. Save in case of dire illness. So many possibilities.

But for now, I'm going to try something else. I want to try living debt free, cheaply, at home, quietly. Not working quite so hard, not living in such a frenzy. I'll continue writing some, but I'll turn down some work too. And I'll see what it's like to have empty afternoons. Maybe then I can watch my hairs grow.