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18 January, 1996
Howard and I walked on the mountain
embroiled in an archetypal tete-a-tete
over my prospects for print publishing
we both want me to write a book
I'm not so sure I want it to be a hardcover
my naieve idealism frustrates him
his frustration is hard to bear

on coyote ridge trail,
a dog approaches unseen,
I lean akwardly leftward
the dog snarls and bites my right thigh
I walk silently on
howard asks,
yes, the dog broke the skin.
I'm not so worried over the prospects for disease
but more the spiritual ramifications
this has to be a sign

howard urges me to cast the i ching:

I consulted it on the web,

I, the computer lost half the reading

missing details on the first hex
the wanderer

said something about fire on the mountain

this one I saved:

     44.  Kou / Coming to Meet

          -----     above     Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven
          -----     below     Sun    The Gentle, Wind
          -- --

     The Judgement

          Coming to Meet. The maiden is powerful.
          One should not marry such a maiden.

     The Image

          Under heaven, wind:
          The image of Coming to Meet.
          Thus does the prince act when disseminating his commands
          And proclaiming them to the four quarters of heaven.

     The Lines

          Nine in the third place means:
          There is no skin on his thighs,
          And walking comes hard.
          If one is mindful of the danger,
          No great mistake is made.

after I share this,
howard is inclined to let me do the book my way

first thing this morning, jennifer calls me back

(her I thought to consult first)
a fifteen minute flow of channeled wisdom:
(I'd ask her what, and she'd forgotten)

dog medicine in my medicine bag
totem animal
dogs are psychic, you drive, project friendliness.
saw a football kicker miss every kick,
the announcer sez
that guy's going to go home and his dog's going to bite him.

thigh wound - fisher king longing for adolescent purity
masculine wound near the groin
meet adversity with Howard with confidence, not fear
reclaim the power of loyalty to self, to self truth
become like dog, your own best friend.
something primal in our conflict
taboo feelings, he's family.

delve into a sense of service oriented love

regardless of treatment
a tolerant heart within
she remembered when she was weak
an old dog bit her gently
teaught her to be strong

territorial imperative protective
exercise wildness.

She tells me to call Leanna
works for Whole Earth Review
wants me to write articles on the Internet
for beginner's mind

leanna heard I was bit by a dog

picture a ball of light above your head,
as the light comes in,
it flows out through your solar plexus
third chakra.
a living being
you can't take energy in
when you're sending it out
dogs will recognize that
people too

I say it sounds like something
to practice in the mission
"use silver light in the mission"

she sez, "aids invisibility."

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