Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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24 February, 1996
see now it's a sunday
I do these things late at night
so I'll prepare this spirit

I prepared for a mood
with five kinds of high synthetic sexuals
bark from africa
root hawaiaan
the best of elly lilly and merc
has to offer
and ginseng
I remembered cuz the striking woman told me it made her horny

so I thought I'll make myself horny
sacred self-sexual space
except I intended some use
of this bark juice
makes me hard like sixteen

anyway, I piled all this shit on

and I wore a skirt

damn I just have this pain in my chest
not yet sleepy
feeling painfully clearheaded
like I'm not going to be able to sleep
so what concerned me instead
was projecting my need
expressing my pain
and finding few takers
joy is a ride
people will ride with you
this is pain
now physical
and somehow I thought an aquaintence

of multiple moments
would pick up the slack

and she gone
I found myself talking to
on the trail
many beasts out tonight

I said
many beasts
the word froze in front of my mouth
cold air up my skirt
it's been a windy day
I have nowhere to turn but art
and recollection of the nursing
see I used to have something cheesy in mind
the ideal woman
at sixteen
she looked like a penthouse model
and she was maternal.

now I know she's smart

for me
laughing at my stupid shit
and cutting straight to the chase on the real
I'd be smart for her too
she be as ready a recepticle as the net
and maternal.

these pinings useless
pain driven
prhaps I should have kept after the dad notion

or been more patient
cuz now I have a visitor

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