Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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16 march, 1996

yesterday posted late,
due to technical difficulties

howard, still grieving over business and friendship
is lip chewing like I've never seen


my usual contentious place
as he bills it
he was weakened,
I came from a place of compassion

to make good for this great man,
stuck I, seeking to make my words strong

I felt weak, divided

and I admitted my place of unknowing
the results, howard thought
were wise.

I'm a promiscuous publisher
I put my drafts out there to see

howard isn't sure he'd want folks to read

what he wrote when he was 23
"the war of the gurus"
not writing he's proud of
a dizzying array of adjectives

"but hey, maybe that's who you are,

let it all hang out."

he's playing devil's advocate with my celebrity
a tool, power to distribute my message
but my old soul voice sometimes gets lost when I'm doing the justin show
better I should refine my wisdom, my craft,
and let the celebrity wane
than the other way around
he recommends
computerization and controversy
value conflicts and social choices
edited by rob kling

I take further advantage of his graphics tablet
thrice handwrite a lower case and capital alphabet
that I might make my page more personal.

we lunch with his mom, Geraldine
an intuitive soul
who thinks everything is wonderful
just marvelous.

howard's daughter mamie
spends at least one day a week with her grandma since she was born.

Geraldine asks me what I want to do

when I get out of college
what do I call myself
I guess, like howard
I'm a communicator
(who isn't?)

in the afternoon,
he asks me to linger on
that he might walk with his daughter
and later we'll tweak some web pages
like we used to.

mid tweak,
he remembers an aikido demonstration in mill valley
I should really check out

but I stayed in a familiar time
barefeet backyard
I'll miss this some day.

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