oct 1
morning breakfast with mom
fresher in the mornings
she has tofu, I have soy milk
whee hah healthy
she sez san francisco feels like a small town
only 700k metropolitain.
apt with christiana
she can feel my weekend in my body
possessed, naked,
reveal yourself before people who don't really care or love you
and you will become all tense up to protect yourself
and so was I today, this weekend stiff
even unable to return to creativity she blames because I went to that place
that place where drama and sex replace love and originality
what kind of people did I expect to meet?
how did I expect to be treated?
if writing and studying and loving are my priorities
then I need to learn to make choices
at least to go, and not become so possessed
it's okay to go, to see,
but learn, and chooseand don't say you are 21,
that is no excuse.
you can't be yourself in all these ways and then say that
or you can say that to your friends
and they will say, yeahs, you are 21
you have done so much
so now fuck me
and you will go off and do that with them.she is funny, and loveable
old world and still cosmopolitain
to work, two or three hours of e-mail a phone call from carew,
she is young, fun, motivated, going places
caught up in a college whirlwind
spirits, men, women and scholastics
labour movement and national magazines
making plans for online chats virtual classrooms with ken gergensome spacebar, some work
my wrists hurt
typing don't hurt like repeating cut and paste and click and drag
just kills my wristises.
so I nap and I wake and I work
and vjim and I dinner together
I hear his origin myth
psychedlic kindergarden
there's a big connection between lsd and internet interest
at least there used to be
we're brothers of a same mind, unblind
fun to work with passionistic folk
and I return, to work surfing the net for links to beef up howard's vc book online
a little palace
testing for eminds
lead around the attractive cyberpalace
by "trykster" from oaklahoma
doesn't have a web page - too small a service provider
just got their T1 last week.
and then jim gives me a ride home
and then I type some more
and then I excercise a little
and then I sleep.
justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>