amy's mom is here and
she keep subtly finding ways for
us to share job tips,
like get a good job and security
for yourself and my daughter

i, um,
start young, work for good company
save money
then do what you want

chad rupp and jesse kulp
they say the same things over email

and i say to her, look,
i have invested my time as a young
man
see,
i have my name in this book
and
my quote in this one

that means i'm a writer.
i'm part of a community, of writers
that's what i've done at my age

amy's tried on a fringe black
flapper dress
we three drink a little red wine

so while i'm back into writing
short phrases
expression-web-natural

i'm not entirely back into my 1996 world of madness
world of madness
web time all the time

at least i have branched out into computer games and some grounding theory
since that time

this guy doug taped me talking and
doing stuff
appropriate for 21 years old
and a fresh web mind

i um
appear in his documentary
it is a big big honour
and
as it turns out
a
big
responsibility

"why you got to talk about that
talk about thank you your family and your love one"
amymom commenting on something
amy said to kathy over the phone
something about lesbians

making the film is only a part of it
you have to promote baby
make the dollars and distribution
pay back his loans and time
and you know
get some big publicity
for what you used to do

so sundance was a blast and
austin was nice to see
conferences are fun enough
a mobile community
stays up late to
recount former successes
for studio audiences
of professional fans
and accomplices
that are too far apart
and not currently working

"hey aim[y], how come you don't apply for this stuff?"
[phi beta kappa, "sumla cumla"]
"because it's like applying for a dishtowel mom
"i would hope that you would appreciate
"that i have the intelligence
"to disregard all that farty posturing"

i mean i am still clearly invested in
personal web page making as
as a means of liberation
creativity, expression,
access to tools and ideas

but getting up after home page shows in an
other city to share cliff notes on my life
since i cut my hair

while my writing and my house lies floundering be
hind

i have to have a different mind, discipline
means saying no,
thank you

in 1996 i wanted places to stay
now i have places to stay
but i need some money to pay bill
and i need time to write and think
if i am self-employed, my boss isn't giving
me vacation time

kathy asks, can't you telecommute dude?
but i gotta sit in my shit and write and
clean up and sort out
it is spring and i am inclined to some tra
ditional cleaning

houseguests i have houseguest dues to pay i've crashed on so many couches amy and i have a home for wayward travellers they teach you how to use your space in different ways and, they keep you up at night with their philosophy

besides this proposed 5 day
unpaid commitment
in april i
travel for my mom's 60th birthday
entertain ethan devine some for visiting
and finally leave for 10 days teaching/speaking to copenhagen
after which amy's family arrives for 10 days of
amy's family
four people go stay in our house

if i go to swarthmore and
minnesota
my next free weekend
for projects and playing house

will be may 21st.

what? i'm unemployed?

"go if you want to be either a professional celebrity or a preacher. don't go if you want to be a writer."

amy is so nice and dramatic i love to watch expressions play over her turned mouth little grimaces and grins she plays her own quartet

a picture taken yesterday! thanks jorgen, svante. hi maime

my office is a cluttered mess,
as it has always been

reading an excellent article from bud.com

i feel almost able to honour my commitments
then i can travel

is home page a commitment? what do i owe doug and the film? should i intend to contribute because the more i give the better it does the better it serves me? i think opening my life up originally and then travelling once a month for three months is a solid investment.

if i don't keep on writing about trying to write what will there be to write about?