Carl had a cat he didn't want, so he paid Amy and I to take him in. We got Fernando. Fernando Loku - Amy and Justin - July 2000 bouncing up to bed he will step on my bladder good morning kitty Fernando Loku - Amy and Justin - July 2000 he begs for food day and night trembling tail held aloft wails, walks in circles

I'm slowly learning why Carl might have given away Fernando. He shits on my stuff with alarming regularity. Carl even paid me to take the cat - the money was soon absorbed in new blankets and dry cleaning bills.

Fernando likes to plant himself near the kitchen and wail. There's a pervasive feeling that he is unhappy, longing for something.

He brings me some joy, because he's always excited when I come home, running alongside the car and preventing me from parking. He jumps in my lap and wants some love, until he gets antsy and bites me.

It is tough to balance this antagonizing cat experience with my own sense that I should help the animal heal his pain and show him a good life. Mostly Fernando reminds me that I'm a bad single dad. I work a lot and I leave town all the time and while I recruit catsitters, they mostly come and feed him and that's it. I'm inattentive and I have a screwed up kid who needs love and patience.

Lori said I could bring Fernando to Lincoln. I thought that would be a great idea, I could leave him at my uncle's house, and visit him now and then. You won't see him again, she mentioned. I understand now that she was talking about the cat mafia. Some days it's sadly tempting.

Carl | life

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