Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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1 February, 1996
a non-alcoholic poetry

carew lingered long and left

mariah fell asleep three hours ago
wakes up in time to catch this near comatose boy

in a calm fit of drama

tonight I didn't want to deaden my friends
I served no likker
but fruit drinks
banana, peach, cider, grapefruit blendered
with MaHuang, Guarana, kava kava
and choline cocktail

four tablespoons powder for each 8 oz. serving

now my
no more than two weeks five hours sleepnights
body is chest belly aching
brain drain
momentum I am awake at 6 am again
straight since 7am yesterday
much like the day before

because I'm teaching and I'm learning
it's not balance, but the divine plan
if I get sick, I could turn out like St. Francis
really I've been looking for vision
so often comes with severe sickness

pardon me

anyways, today was potent
begun with web class
jason linder hands me
a clipping from free weekly
LA View, January 5-11, 1996

"webshot '95:"
douglas m. mohney
considers mine 5th of ten dementedly creative pages:
5) Justin's Links from the Underground
Justin has sold out to the estab-
lishment, having been published in
Rolling Stone and become a Howard
Rheingold "discovery." However, his
material is still cutting edge.
I should have read the rest, as I did just now
the guy has a chip on his shoulder for everyone
regardless, these days
I obsess a bit about integrity
how to be

I mulled over it the day long
especially after the philly inquirer
sent jay photographer
to take pictures of me at my desk
"our readers need a frame of reference
would you mind posing with an issue
of rolling stone or wired you've written for?"

I proffer my notebook instead.

it's not my web page they're profiling
but a local participant
in 24 hours in cyberspace
the day the net says "cheese."

there's truth in everything
but interpretation is king
howard is a mentor
rolling stone was an experience
who would deny me either?

I realized I shouldn't stop to care
and again Yoni found for me an inspirational speaker
(last time Amiri Baraka inspired me to forge culture)
now Haile Gerima
sent me straight:

he made a film
bluntly slavery explorative
share the horror with compelled black characters
too guilt inducing for cineplex odius
the film didn't strike me as much as independent distribution.
if I think publishing is bad
try hollywood
he refers to "spectacle cinema"
passive inductive juggernaut.

mulling over corporate
big name
he sez
he's a flea on elephants
do humble flea work
own your image
no entertainment tonight
no academy awards dinner
young people want to be a star

(I've got to admit my mothlikeness)

perhaps the best advice

from co-producing wife
Shirikiana Aina
don't be impatient.

after polemical politics

feiry anti-colonial carryon
he's agreeable approachable
explain my situation
"sell out" is childish.
as long as it is your message
have your terms
he always demands final cut

some people ask him

who are you?
he sez, then why did you call me?

ahhh, patience.

this pace is fine
but I'm starting to leave shit
I love making radio
I got my days confused
and I missed my application turnin
no more electric eclectic
first time in years here
I will not make multiple musics
and I brought five inches of records with me
somehow I hoped fate would intervene
people liked my show
they'd help me make it happen
rya urges me to lose a little ego
I figure to gain some faith

in mystic mysterious ways working

I hear the communications decency act passed congress today

raised by lawyers,
clarence darrow inspired,
I'd love to take the stand for decency.

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