15 february 1996

15 February, 1996

a dog bite
then this
I've got jupiter in my twelfth house
they say
it's a guardian
if I wasn't spiritual
I wouldn't see the signs

these are signs

?

what you make them.

today I linger with a stoned friend
I usually love her absolute hyperactivity
we play physical
poking and wrestling and chasing
very cathartic
being stoned
she's mellow

next april
she was talking about spring break
I said you aren't going to work
and your beau isn't going to study med school midterms

all you're going to do
is fuck and fight
concentrated relationship time
like um, I didn't say it but
my last relationship appeared in my head
and at the door
sat down with us
chandra
in a crochet thick lacey top black
april asks if she's naked underneath
is a yellow t-shirt
really I've grown more comfortable with her
she placed her hand on my heart
he can be still she said
see, just place your hand on his heart
and she close to me did so
april said, you're really red justin
see, she said, he can be gentle.
april leaves
I have to laugh
almost a year's distance
chandra, you're really in your own world
relaying my facts to you
memories
you look like you hear a voice somewhere in the next room
but it doesn't overly concern
times my lap twitches
she asks about my love life
I explain I'm really trying not to have sex
it complicates things
drains the energy body
besides unsatisfying cuz
I have too much control
I'm not losing myself
I recall the last time she visited me
I felt that crazy pluto energy
like not even fooling around

just fucking, right now
man, you're a wild one
and it's a celebration
you're really on another planet
and it's a celebration

reminded of Roy,
Chandra, I will be your buddy
help you with the mundane
sit and do homework together
so you can be creative!
you'll be my buddy!
she leaps into my lap
throws her arms around my neck
I have to laugh
hours later, I'm getting dinner
april appears just awoken
she's dreamt that I'm addicted to Chandra
she's working to seduce me
more to fuck with me than fuck me
hours later I'm taking a break from a band
at Pub Nite

I play some video games
samurai showdown III
they always let you win the first battle

wandering
I think to myself
destiny leads me to this room
and seconds later I see Chandra
talking to some dude
unaknowledged between us
I take a nap on a couch,
wake up to realize
the answer is everywhere,
not the least in

chandra, enthused to have a buddy
already sent me some e-mail.

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