26 november 1996

nov 26

quick to work,
after I pick up my buk forgotten at pasta pomodoro ya soir
too busy reading the tao.
crank work, nice to be early

good omen to start abbe and howard future of justin and electric minds meeting
abbe eating tootsie pop - sugar release serotonin
I needed all of abbe's serotonin I could get
I thought
but the dialog was very measured and loving and thoughtful
separated into chunks like this:

as my friend, howard spoke outlining my place in college as my place in intellectual tradition
his own dilemma reed or the haight in 1964?

he chose a long term committment.
abbe chimes in
san francisco, some sort of scene will always be there
she sees some of my interests as academically inclined

I take it all down and breathe deep - they have summed up three months worth of one side of the arguement in on gentle, fell swoop.
to be considered on sunday night, at home, after I am talked with my family and my brother and my older friends

then we talk business
the work I do, could do for electric minds
they need a 40 hours (at least) definitely full time html person to fill my position. part timers are not to be desired; desk space, mental/management space requirements too high.
they propose that. I would make more money, but I would have to be willing to give 40 hours at least (more like 50-60) and I would have to do my conferencing and hosting and writing for electric minds duties after those hours. and what about my own site?

I am part time worker. this is clear.
I'd like to be around the office,
for people and connectivity
so am I an employee with a desk?

not part time you're not.
you're a contractor with a set task (interfacing between mark and todd for weekly world wide jam layout and synthesis
abbe notes I'm between skill sets or positions -
outgrown layout but not prepared for producer
so I figure I would take part time contractor position, do the job, support myself, use resources to make my media in off hours, watch the company grow from sort of the inside

abbe notes this:

in this industry,
a contractor has the illusion of freedom
an employee has the illusion of security.

I take this offer, and their college advice, written down to be determined
thank them for their time

and I am to be conferenced called by the discovery channel online for future of the web chat

live chat nov 26, 7pm eastern

I'm not an editor with hotwired

patch me in with neal conan
know him, his voice only from the radio
does he have a web site? did he have to sign away the rights to "neal conan" since NPR made him famous?

no,he appears in xmen 200

chris claremont a personal friend

when chris left marvel for dc, there was some debate if neal conan was marvel property.
gosh.
doug rushkoff
call me douglas, from nyc - manhatten west village
ate an egg sandwich for lunch

what is this thing? doug

crowded
our typist helen can do 225 words a minute
marisa joins at the last minute
54321 and neal conan sounds like the radio
have to restrain chortles and snorts

common conversational cues
doug, marisa justin the order
neal becomes pipeline mostly

he breaks flow between us panelists to take more questions
doug pontificates nicely,
marisa, charming, witty as ever.
both make solid points, use unique turns of phrase
don't know that we changed the world;
it was entertaining. I think I said some true stuff and some bullshit. heck, converse for 40 minutes and that's what happens.

amy calls
she has this way, especially in her two or three e-mails today
of proclaiming selfishism
she's only interested in my college-return dilemma as it pertains to her
we all are, I think, some just pretend or reach beyond that for conversation

so I request of her, and this comes:
untrained thought (no such thing) versus howard's urging
she hated school
don't consider mills same academic as highschool
are there tools you need?

I remember jimi hendrix never learned to play the guitar
raising this with the old man,
howard sez - "you need to be great to skip steps, and you're not that great"
that's patriarchical modernism, she hates it
college presumes there's some kind of linear training you need to think for yourself
like for her arting, she has to paint a potato lookin' real before she can articulate her own vision?
she's in school cuz waitressing she realized the economic implication of a degree
and it is interacting with people your own age persuing the same things in forum for that persuit
she's not going to otherwise have 15 people forced to look at and critique her art work
connections and resources
school such a rich forest of resources to draw from to make your own thing
people with experience sharing their experience with you

those people are with you now right

connections and resources, I'm not hurting for.

critique of my artwork, I'm not hurting for.
she observes that howard is a member of the graduated from graduate school club
it benefits him to booster that club

(tho that doesn't explain ephedra)
where am I allied?
an academic or a wanderer?
I think I have my answer, now I have to assemble the right reasons

or something like that.

she catches me typing her wisdom

you're totally exploiting me justin

are you writing this down?

I hate you!

folks, friends of hers are reading these pages now, mills women
"I still have faith in your vision even though every one I know is laughing at me"

but how am I going to write about our sex(?) of sunday?
you're not going to put the details up there are you?!

everything is details!
does she want me to jack up the obscurity level to protect her privacy?

she hates the idea

trying to have control over representation of thought

I propose an experiment in modern discourse
we both have a web page, she writes or arts her piece and we discuss and forum at large

you're really fucking with my head.

I think that we should have sex more (she sez)
we should turn our relationship into an online art project

it would not be an art project

it would be an exercise in aaargh! (she's frustrated)
vjim listening sez all our calls should be conference calls
cuz he's tired of only hearing one side of it

how symbolic she notes

amy sez
maybe when I make a web page maybe I'll make a part of it for you
write about how creepy you are
I need some time alone to think about the internet cuz it confuses me

I work, a little thon

you guys gonna fuck like minks? nice pun, vjim

we reconnect:
she's talking serious
for her I'm a first that sees relationship as transformative
direct impetus to create
she's been very creative since she's been with me

man does that warm my heart cockles.
we speak some of other folks
I joke ask if we in "an open relationship"
stupid to bring up
premature and premediated madness
she encourages me to enjoy myself
but if I sustain fucking someone else she's not gonna like it
of course, me either.

her fucking someone else I mean.
we have trouble getting off the phone,
she sez some nice things about missing me while I'm in chicago
in my chest these things rise and ring
I say "I feel"
and she sez, you feel?

hard to be nonverbal over the phone.

but she gets it.

complicated order from the only late night thai food delivery place I know of:
coconut soup with just mushrooms, no chicken or prawns. how much?
then meal of rice noodles, prawns, broccoli, onions, basil, garlic, ground peanuts and bean sprouts and cilantro
it arrives, the soup is great, the noodle stuff is unentertaining.

(hard to miss with coconut milk)
better last time with simple order.

at like eleven, hey justin it's me. it's dominic.
he acts so familiar it's jarring
we have a long chat
swarthmore recap - he's headed back as a graduate
college value - talks of feelings watching his peers at the graduation moment
I'm on the late shift.
working into the wee hours posting electric minds status reports to my bosses and peers
answer question from ollee palmer from australia getting together a debate on whether computers are a waste of time or not

I suggest their place as the democratic descendent of the printing press.
old siouxsie and the banshees - raw.
I have to pack these office assorteds, and stop tweaking web pages at some point

I leave you with this:
since my computer's broke and my only way online is to sneak into northwestern med school pretending to be a grad student

(vjim suggests I wear a hat).

have a happy thanksgiving! I want to take a moment to commend the rheingold family whom I hear are headed to a homeless shelter that day. someday I'll turn aside my own turkey goring for that nobility as it is, I will spend the next few days in chicago with my portly nebraska kin digesting rich midwestern fare and most certainly, rest assured, being ribbed and ridiculed for each and every eccentric portion of my lifestyle and attire. hubba hubba. after that, I'll spend wednesday and thursday in reno speaking at a "news industry" conference on "competition" in front of scared, aged white males who own chains of rural southern small town newspapers (mini-media barons). I'll be explaining to them how justin's links, electric minds, and the missoula daily independent guardian weekly herald can stand to benefit from fostering online community.
the hell of the holidays is just begun.

(john lee hooker shows me the key to the highway)

`well gol durn, I remember yesterday was a hootn' hellova lot better n' today.`

nov 26

quick to work,
after I pick up my buk forgotten at pasta pomodoro ya soir
too busy reading the tao.
crank work, nice to be early

good omen to start abbe and howard future of justin and electric minds meeting
abbe eating tootsie pop - sugar release serotonin
I needed all of abbe's serotonin I could get
I thought
but the dialog was very measured and loving and thoughtful
separated into chunks like this:

as my friend, howard spoke outlining my place in college as my place in intellectual tradition
his own dilemma reed or the haight in 1964?

he chose a long term committment.
abbe chimes in
san francisco, some sort of scene will always be there
she sees some of my interests as academically inclined

I take it all down and breathe deep - they have summed up three months worth of one side of the arguement in on gentle, fell swoop.
to be considered on sunday night, at home, after I am talked with my family and my brother and my older friends

then we talk business
the work I do, could do for electric minds
they need a 40 hours (at least) definitely full time html person to fill my position. part timers are not to be desired; desk space, mental/management space requirements too high.
they propose that. I would make more money, but I would have to be willing to give 40 hours at least (more like 50-60) and I would have to do my conferencing and hosting and writing for electric minds duties after those hours. and what about my own site?

I am part time worker. this is clear.
I'd like to be around the office,
for people and connectivity
so am I an employee with a desk?

not part time you're not.
you're a contractor with a set task (interfacing between mark and todd for weekly world wide jam layout and synthesis
abbe notes I'm between skill sets or positions -
outgrown layout but not prepared for producer
so I figure I would take part time contractor position, do the job, support myself, use resources to make my media in off hours, watch the company grow from sort of the inside

abbe notes this:

in this industry,
a contractor has the illusion of freedom
an employee has the illusion of security.

I take this offer, and their college advice, written down to be determined
thank them for their time

and I am to be conferenced called by the discovery channel online for future of the web chat

live chat nov 26, 7pm eastern

I'm not an editor with hotwired

patch me in with neal conan
know him, his voice only from the radio
does he have a web site? did he have to sign away the rights to "neal conan" since NPR made him famous?

no,he appears in xmen 200

chris claremont a personal friend

when chris left marvel for dc, there was some debate if neal conan was marvel property.
gosh.
doug rushkoff
call me douglas, from nyc - manhatten west village
ate an egg sandwich for lunch

what is this thing? doug

crowded
our typist helen can do 225 words a minute
marisa joins at the last minute
54321 and neal conan sounds like the radio
have to restrain chortles and snorts

common conversational cues
doug, marisa justin the order
neal becomes pipeline mostly

he breaks flow between us panelists to take more questions
doug pontificates nicely,
marisa, charming, witty as ever.
both make solid points, use unique turns of phrase
don't know that we changed the world;
it was entertaining. I think I said some true stuff and some bullshit. heck, converse for 40 minutes and that's what happens.

amy calls
she has this way, especially in her two or three e-mails today
of proclaiming selfishism
she's only interested in my college-return dilemma as it pertains to her
we all are, I think, some just pretend or reach beyond that for conversation

so I request of her, and this comes:
untrained thought (no such thing) versus howard's urging
she hated school
don't consider mills same academic as highschool
are there tools you need?

I remember jimi hendrix never learned to play the guitar
raising this with the old man,
howard sez - "you need to be great to skip steps, and you're not that great"
that's patriarchical modernism, she hates it
college presumes there's some kind of linear training you need to think for yourself
like for her arting, she has to paint a potato lookin' real before she can articulate her own vision?
she's in school cuz waitressing she realized the economic implication of a degree
and it is interacting with people your own age persuing the same things in forum for that persuit
she's not going to otherwise have 15 people forced to look at and critique her art work
connections and resources
school such a rich forest of resources to draw from to make your own thing
people with experience sharing their experience with you

those people are with you now right

connections and resources, I'm not hurting for.

critique of my artwork, I'm not hurting for.
she observes that howard is a member of the graduated from graduate school club
it benefits him to booster that club

(tho that doesn't explain ephedra)
where am I allied?
an academic or a wanderer?
I think I have my answer, now I have to assemble the right reasons

or something like that.

she catches me typing her wisdom

you're totally exploiting me justin

are you writing this down?

I hate you!

folks, friends of hers are reading these pages now, mills women
"I still have faith in your vision even though every one I know is laughing at me"

but how am I going to write about our sex(?) of sunday?
you're not going to put the details up there are you?!

everything is details!
does she want me to jack up the obscurity level to protect her privacy?

she hates the idea

trying to have control over representation of thought

I propose an experiment in modern discourse
we both have a web page, she writes or arts her piece and we discuss and forum at large

you're really fucking with my head.

I think that we should have sex more (she sez)
we should turn our relationship into an online art project

it would not be an art project

it would be an exercise in aaargh! (she's frustrated)
vjim listening sez all our calls should be conference calls
cuz he's tired of only hearing one side of it

how symbolic she notes

amy sez
maybe when I make a web page maybe I'll make a part of it for you
write about how creepy you are
I need some time alone to think about the internet cuz it confuses me

I work, a little thon

you guys gonna fuck like minks? nice pun, vjim

we reconnect:
she's talking serious
for her I'm a first that sees relationship as transformative
direct impetus to create
she's been very creative since she's been with me

man does that warm my heart cockles.
we speak some of other folks
I joke ask if we in "an open relationship"
stupid to bring up
premature and premediated madness
she encourages me to enjoy myself
but if I sustain fucking someone else she's not gonna like it
of course, me either.

her fucking someone else I mean.
we have trouble getting off the phone,
she sez some nice things about missing me while I'm in chicago
in my chest these things rise and ring
I say "I feel"
and she sez, you feel?

hard to be nonverbal over the phone.

but she gets it.

complicated order from the only late night thai food delivery place I know of:
coconut soup with just mushrooms, no chicken or prawns. how much?
then meal of rice noodles, prawns, broccoli, onions, basil, garlic, ground peanuts and bean sprouts and cilantro
it arrives, the soup is great, the noodle stuff is unentertaining.

(hard to miss with coconut milk)
better last time with simple order.

at like eleven, hey justin it's me. it's dominic.
he acts so familiar it's jarring
we have a long chat
swarthmore recap - he's headed back as a graduate
college value - talks of feelings watching his peers at the graduation moment
I'm on the late shift.
working into the wee hours posting electric minds status reports to my bosses and peers
answer question from ollee palmer from australia getting together a debate on whether computers are a waste of time or not

I suggest their place as the democratic descendent of the printing press.
old siouxsie and the banshees - raw.
I have to pack these office assorteds, and stop tweaking web pages at some point

I leave you with this:
since my computer's broke and my only way online is to sneak into northwestern med school pretending to be a grad student

(vjim suggests I wear a hat).

have a happy thanksgiving! I want to take a moment to commend the rheingold family whom I hear are headed to a homeless shelter that day. someday I'll turn aside my own turkey goring for that nobility as it is, I will spend the next few days in chicago with my portly nebraska kin digesting rich midwestern fare and most certainly, rest assured, being ribbed and ridiculed for each and every eccentric portion of my lifestyle and attire. hubba hubba. after that, I'll spend wednesday and thursday in reno speaking at a "news industry" conference on "competition" in front of scared, aged white males who own chains of rural southern small town newspapers (mini-media barons). I'll be explaining to them how justin's links, electric minds, and the missoula daily independent guardian weekly herald can stand to benefit from fostering online community.
the hell of the holidays is just begun.

(5am: john lee hooker shows me the key to the highway)

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