thursday sometime zdtv recieved an email from tupelo mississippi. the author objected to my use of profanity and sexual explicitness on my web site. he posed as a loyal viewer alienated by the overweaning pervert weirdo justin hall and staked his zdtv loyalty against my participation.
friday my "affiliation" with zdtv was placed on indefinite hold.
so upon my brother's recommendation, i purchased a computer
you're a computer guy bud, you gotta have a machine
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(1300$ pre-monitor)
$115 amd k6-2 300mhz processor not that hard to set up, and i got mostly exactly what i wanted! and i learned a ton about PCs in a hurry. i had great friends lending hours and advice - that was key.
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i figured we should emcompass more operating systems in our home -
i purchased a series of chips and motherboards and etc and put together a linux/win98 machine, with advice from jonathan, elly and brendan. so far only win98 is installed, and i recommend the sikh theme - beautiful bathing at the river background graphic to keep it real, nice indian music sounds for enlightened seeming interludes.
(i'm into the religious themes - the 7 deadlies is kinky but too weird for long term.)
many people have written me various sorts of encouragement over my firing - the voice of the net seems to say "believe your personal ramblings are more worthwhile than bending over for television.
some voices coach some compromise - don willwott - other folks; "do you want to reach artsy people or lots of people? your website can only get so big. but if you can package justin-juice separate from his personal stuff, you got the motts."
but not my mother. and usually she errs on the side of don't be so weird. but my self is i guess so clearly staked in my overpersonal writings that she seemed to respect standing up for myself.
there's degrees of sharing. i believe in the everyone access to the web stuff. i also believe in frequent burning honesty. i don't think i could reasonably leave myself outside the studio and speak meaningfully about anything - especially technology. because i also believe in humanizing modern communication by selective oversharing.
what would it mean if i said - make yourself a personal webpage but don't talk about anything you care for that's unusual?
at the same time i've picked up this new operating system with no bbedit and uneven ui, i've started using a dvorak-tuned kinesis keyboard. i suspect that it will be best for my hands, as evan suggested, but it's a steep learning curve. i'm wording slowly now. i need home site i hear
scott rosenberg from salon wrote and asked if i would speak to him about the zdtv situation.
while i relish the chance to speak to people about life, and appearing in the news is always good for traffic, i'm holding back on spilling the beans because i'm not sure how the chips will fall.
(two ready use phrases dere)
if i talk mad shit about zdtv, yo, they might like bug out and step up to this ass in the press, like some retaliatory type shit. at least that's what my mom said. if i put them on the defensive in the media they might lash out with all sorts of stuff about me - trying to discredit me even more than i do myself.
but i don't have much negative to say about them really - everyone there was nice to me and mostly funny and smart and trying to make the place cool, or at least work as they saw fit. it actually makes sense to me that since i am even a slight risk for some kind of zdtv-is-linking-to-satan-spawn letter writing campaign, i jeopardize their position as a young cable market prospect. maybe someday they will feel comfortable having this naked profane cocaine perspective electronically adjoining their middle of the road tv popularity contest
or maybe they will go out of business. smarter groups of people have, sadly enough.
my brother thinks i should leave them in the dust. but if i ever wanted to have a talk show, wouldn't that be the place? no way bud, think mtv.
anyways,
i like teaching and i admire zdtv's appreciation for the computer learning market.
so what will i do to make money honey? folks who have written me support my usevalue, so i am now spending against my saved up taxmoney with faith that i will recover some before april.
it's exciting to be cast from the house of wangberg. it was exciting to work there. wasn't "may you live in interesting times" meant as an insult?
one good story that made it to me is the story of my ghost in their machine
and i will tell it here with maximum magic -
i was supposed to be zdtv's tuesday call for help franchise - a little bit of regular directed content in the midst of another show.
i performed two tuesdays, and then the next tuesday, after i had been disaffiliated, folks on the set were looking at my site just before going live. the browser crashed, and the show went on. in the midst of the proceeding segments, during an on-screen demonstration, the web browser erupted, plainly displaying yesserday's web page with my nekkid self on live zdtv for a few seconds.
now that's almost worth the price of admission! hoot hoot.
i took the time to cook a little tonight - i dig that. i left some chopped garlic in salted olive oil sitting out for a few days and the stuff is entirely intoxicating. so strong! muy fuerte! toss it in the pot and instant bold taste for greens or potatoes, etc. spinach, mushrooms, salmon, rice, potatoes - amy kira and i. it's nice to eat nice.
houseguest kira is exciting as well. men seem drawn to her, or at least that how it appears upon reflection. we have poetic answering machine recordings left for her, invitations, art and tribute from acquaintences. all she wants is to paint. and visit an indian reservation.
i don't write about folks like i used to. i reserve my personality profiles for corporate situations. most folks from zdtv want to keep their jobs - they share stories with me with many conditions.
kira says she was concieved during her mother's period - does that mean the eagerly anticipated regular happy-latex-free half month is really justin junior procreation potential?
i appreciate amy. she needs more of her own space. i took her temporarily defunct drafting table as a desk and now she don't even have a room to get big with her art in. it makes her unhappy. we're working on it. i like what she makes.
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justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>