19 november, 1997

november 19

doing much schoolwork,
econ paper on "the new economy"

trype? or brave new paradigm?
programming in C -
my first big effort, a video movie database.
thesis proposal, something to study,
to resolve "meaning context and media"

resolve - hah!
consider "tradition change and connection"
at least that's what gergen suggested.

next week is givethanks,
with amy, thanks to mom
thanks to mom for the stuffing recipe as well.
i'm breaking tradition choosing this hussy over dear old mom's homecooking,

but if you'll get raunchy with me for a minute,
there's two things about bein' with amy for this holiday i relish -
one, if i'm gonna keep movin' on into her heart,
if we are going to invest this relating with the faith supercharge it needs to sustain us
roasting in the warm glow of family-type time is a committment
cooking, inside, with her dad, feeding her friend (tongsue maybe)
its a kind of love and intention that i relish here, cold at college away from her.
also, i look forward to slipping up inside of her when she bends over to baste the bird.

i redid my page on amy yesterday,
she's not so keen on them photos,
my linear style ain't hers either

i say if i'm going to talk about her here at all,

i gots to do her justice.
she mentioned feeling like nora barnacle joyce reading chapter 18.

mute booby fuckbag - were her exact words.

i'm gonna stay in sf and seek some insight,

besides my buttercunt
mostly business talk. hmmm, maybe i'm more like my brother than i imagine.
but i'm not starting a business, i'm still a gadfly with now more regular hair
and a better vocabulary.
i spoke to a woman yesterday from her journalism school asking me about the web
katie was nice young and patient. asked good questions.
i hadn't done that kind of commentating or theorizing in some time
what's the future of the web? what's the role of goverment?
i have a lot to say here, but my hands hurt from computer programming.
anyways, i noticed myself using words, especially from technology self and society, but just generally from all over swarthmore.
i don't think i sounded too high-falutin', but i talked about vocabularies that people might not have to describe certain things. it sounded hip and academic, i'm sure. like a young guy with a pole up his butt. i've been changed ma! i compromised! i've bent to the academy! i got me a good haircut! i went to the microsoft college swattie solicitation! i asked if they drug test their employees. he'd already dealt with a few of my questions already, he wanted to skip it, so he called on someone else, i said, "no hey, i want to know if there's going to be a bunch of tripped out stoned dudes walking around the office." aback, he said, "no we don't drug test." not like PARC, xerox tests. hmmmm.
i was discussing microsoft as satan with melissa binde, i was imagining a horrid NDA they must have
no, melissa observes, she's seen it, typical silicon valley. [granted the microsoft promised pizza and computers and frisbee, flexible hours and fun,] microsoft is like any other silicon valley company, just larger.

so i was on my way out to a wsrn studio b board meeting when my baby calls, clearly not yet in from out of the blue,
honey, do you think you're gay?

(bitch ain't been readin' my web pages.)
i'm not gay, i'm just weird.
finally we agreed my sexuality is probably as ambiguous as hers.

(on a separate note,)
samuel beckett said,
...my words are my tears.

intensity recently,

scorpion?

anniversaries.