january 19

i've been feeling a sickness coming on recently, so being functionally unemployed i've tried to totally devote myself to rest (and blade runner on loan from wayne). all that sleeping has left me insomniacal. beautiful now-blonde amy sleeps in a post-coital bliss upstairs; we watched our president deliver a 1.5 hour state of the union (the weather turned our satellite pickup of his digital delivery into max headroom choppiness) and then i learned how to touch her all over again. recently she's been alternating between complaining to friends and myself that we never have sex anymore (it's about every other day, actually) and not letting me touch her, because i'm too agressive. to me, she just seems too ticklish. but i went slow - she always seems to enjoy my touch more horizontal - reaching up under clothes makes her squeamish.

anyways, i woke up soon after and now i can't sleep - i lay there smelling her and imaging sundance, sharing a room with doug, which suit should i bring, and what will happen to me -

and then i look into my finances, and realize i have about 2000$ above and beyond my lingering credit card charges. but i think in april i will have to pay some taxes, so that's not really like having much money. it's money i can spend now, but i will have to come up with at some point. so today i realize that i may actually need to put some attention into regular income.

there's a local paper online that may want me to write a column. so that might pay for groceries.

don pearman is convinced that i should make web sites for other oakland small businesses like i did him. if he brings me business sure; i did his web site construction because i knew him and because all the info he had was a rare opportunity. but heck i'd be a freelance web designer.

i'm wanting to work in computer games - and trying to figure out how to "break into" the business has lead me away from the design of the cyberpunk/tech RPG that i've been wanting to make/play for a few months now. so maybe if I can borrow that jonathan's laptop, i'll work on that in utah.

maybe sundance will yield some new opportunities: doug seems to think that i will end up with people wanting to hire me or use me, or be entertained by me, after they see the film. i'm not sure anybody will need more justin after that point, so i'm not going to rest on that. though i guess since i don't have anything else totalizing going on, i'll be available for consultation.

maybe i'll have to move around a little? if i lived in irvine, i could apply to interplay; vegas, westwood. if i lived in new york i could hit the publishing market. if i lived in new orleans i could goad gk.

but there's a young neighbor here who is talking of putting together a small game company and might need people. and I've got plenty to do these days, I'm just not getting paid for that much of it. or getting paid much for it. whatever. bismillah - allah will provide.

y