23 december, 1997

23 december
a few days in chicago - sunday to tuesday,

went out with jesse,
he's doing well - talks a blue streak
worked a dozen different chicago jobs this summer,
moving to argentina soon - college connections to potential jobs
folks from high school who live in chicago, jesse reports,
aren't always so excited to host the continuing stream of travelling old chums
they have their lives now, they want some continuity.
we enjoyed lou mitchell's for breakfast,

ate a three egg double yolk omlette with apples and cheddar cheese
two hours later to sofie's busy bee, the best polish food in the city

at damen, miluakee and north avenue
(like i used to with gk and michael, megan)
bratwurst, kraut, potato pancakes, cabbage soup

quite a feed

now i'm in nebraska, continuing the stuffing,
christmas with lori's relatives
asked lori if she'd seen amy on my web site,

no, she doesn't read it any more;
she found stuff she just doesn't want to read.
on the other hand, i talked to lynn,
she had just printed out my new economy paper to read.

thinking about after college some more - got to arrange for some of my own speaking, reserve some clubs, give some talks, collect some monies. i think it will be tough to live on my own creating my own revenue - independent
but i think that if i put in the time, sacrifice for myself,

i will be now and later happy to have control.
it's either that, or sell myself to microsoft, or a speaking agency
they'd find me a niche i'd probably find limiting;

"justin - generational web guru"
i'm thinking more about my thesis these days -
what i'm interested in until june at least is philosophy
the nature and validity of connection in this speedy, saturated society.
thoughts similar to manifold manifest, perhaps even larger - broader,
more developed - six areas of inquiry:

my thesis next semseter will concern:

connection

culture

alterity

religion

motion/vector

shapes
it sounds like nothing now, i mean those are big words and i haven't said anything real about them yet. i can talk it - when i have it written, i'll post it here.

i'm working on a web site constructure of my ideas - i'm real stimulated, real excited.

other than that, i love my woman. mom sez, justin i think it's great, but you're young, you should see what else is out there. and i think to myself, yep, when i go to san francisco, i'm happy to be engaged with her the en-tire time. i could be doing other things - meeting people, raising money, making connections,
but i just can't imagine being near her and not spending a lot of energy with her. sure, i'll se other folks, but it's so rare to find something so meaningful like a lover
i'm happy to be there now,
somewhere else later.
is she just a phase in my life, or someone that will grow with me?
what it is ----->is------>up to us
is that not a balanced life? balanced over time, not in the moment perhaps.
perhaps the relationship would last longer if we weren't so intense about time together.
but i'm far away most of the time.
and she is my bottomless mirror to the divine.

From: justin@bud.com Date: Tue, 23 Dec 1997 Subject: Season's Greetings You have recieved an electronic christmas card from Justin and Amy at links.net. To be able to see the card you just have to copy the link below into your webbrowser http://www.links.net/vita/sf/egg/97holi.html In order to contribute to a better environment we is sending this years Seasons Greetings by e-mail instead of printed mail. As a consequence of this we will save a large amount of money. Amy and Justin wish you Happy !

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