Justin Hall's personal site growing & breaking down since 1994

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15 february

i woke up this morning and really pushed myself in my usual sit-up/stomach crunch routine. but i didn't stretch afterwards! so my body was being pulled into my belly all day - totally constricted, emotionally, phyically, spiritedly! yuck-o. thanks wilson for observing me that - he calls me "stresster" now instead of "chester" which is what he and ben call me cuz people in honduras who couldn't say my name called me chester (instead of justin) and they think that's funny, and chester is a better name for me. ben's encouraged me to rename my page, "chester's links from the underground."

after that i worked on my resume (for teaching). can it be more than one page? amy sez even jesus has a one page resume, so i have to too. what to edit? i'm so proud of myself! jeez, that's pathetic. it's all about layout! and font sizes! and sending in URLs not print outs!

i was asked to read on elizabeth cho's poetry show today, i spent some time in the last week excavating words from my more deliberate moments of pondering.

self shower i like them! i can appreciate how i've moved past them and the person i was and things i saw, and remember things i didn't at the time but might now.

ahh, the past is nice. maybe that's why we've chosen technologied permanence over stone age mobility. (hey mom - that's a good sign - i'm thinking thesis).

i've discovered, to my dismay, that i really do have to read on a subject to have something of worth to say about it. i can't conjure the reality of the world from my head. i say that as part of a twelve step program - "ignorance anonymous"

here's a short poetic travellogue from tonight:

truth started with truth, back when i used to take up such broad topics (late 1994). it's funny to see how my issues and stances haven't changed so much, they've just "iterated."

chandra: one year one poem from the chandra era: one year, on the anniversary, the day we ended up breaking up. funny to note how much i knew/didn't, right, truth before your eyes. and funny to note how many of those sentiments i've related recently regarding amy. i'm probably a better person now, and amy definitely is.

crazy jane talks with the bishop - yeats then i read some wb yeats to shed light on the human condition: crazy jane talks with the bishop. one of the few poems i've committed to memory that remains there.

mission.5 the first half of the mission poem, when i moved out of the bedroom into streets on drugs and let myself ramble, like i do in the second half of this piece, after "not yet"

jorge: corazon then corazon del barrio, meeting jorge, quite a highlight - why does poetics have to be so damn difficult?

white guy white guy was a response to my reading of these works (actually, this wednesday! i've tried expanding this notion of aging into flawed power in other works, but it hasn't yeilded anything publishable - even online.

sickness then sickness, more recent ruminations on the state of human relationships, incorporating deliberate authorial schizophrenia, drawn from conversations and prior printed matter.

passion to temper that feeling i read the heartfelt passion eggzerpt, some wild feelings culminating in a fervent celebration of love!

dad: legacy since i was reading kinda fast (i get excited) i had time for another before i read my last, so i dove into my dad, selecting the longest, the most angry, the most involved musing on legacy - what have you left me? kind of stuff. whew.
haiku and i finished up with the cheap sushi and popcorn popper haikus. whoo hoo! love them shorts.
tonight in my dorm a young woman was preparing hawaiian food, and another was preparing sri lankan food - people from the swim team who went abroad last semester prepared food from their area and fed the team. i got the leftovers! whoo hoo!

and then i prepared a wsrn weakly dj update - i love newsletter small communities with over-the-top worded updates! i remember i did it at wired, maybe that's what reminded me to suggest it tonight at the meeting. once suggested, of course, who's gonna do it? how do we decide to do these things?

yeah girl! well i can tell you an easy decision to make tonight was to talk to that swingin' hipster ladyfriend i have amy - man she is just a kicker. just comin' out of a few days of some serious crypic unhappiness she reached out for a little lovin' maybe i gave her a dose of the old justin sway - man we made such plans as may never be seen but if we didn't laugh and rewrite history and plan the present and ooooo boy! can i not wait to visit her in the house on the street in the city in the state in the big country! yeah! i'm gonna go visit her and we are going to be bodily reminded of why we are here, suffering alone, apart! yeah! she is the woman i love, and i suffer through for her, and maybe she does for me but now she ain't got no choice cuz i'm so full of love and headed her way

you look out amy girl cuz you gonna get a hunk of funk!


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