that my mother abandoned me to the care of nannies from day one, and perhaps she was assiduous in her career persuit, but so did my grandma maintain livin help from day one to persue her teaching as well.

huh.

so I let my mom off the hook some for doing her parented thing, and for being not so unique neglectful and being a great wonderful woman in so many ways and me needing

and today with my aunt and uncle and lori I went to a true millenial superstore

put on a little robert wilkins - returning home means intercepting old taste

family folks was lookin' for a computer

a windows machine
I went with them if only to learn selection, and to advise them to spend more money than they would have otherwise

hah - I learnt my lesson, they will spend thousands on this box, they will look at my web page in style perhaps,

they estimate maybe a few hours a week.
wow. that's a waste.
what about timesharing?

tried to find a link in tools for thought
time-sharing is what they did with large powerful computers isolated in deep laboratories - they hooked the net up to them so that those resources could be maximized. like in the 70s and shit.

I add myself to the bookmark list on this terminal:

"justin, one guy can make a lot of web pages."

this place is so huge. so huge. they have all computer stuff. they'll sell you a fax machine printer scanner coffee maker and they'll come to your house to teach you how to use it.

I learned they have excited salespeople when I tried to see what ports was on the back of one particular CPU.

software sales have sure changed some; now they have a console where you can dial up short music videos of specific products
they're so loud it's almost embarassing to be exploring "necrodome" in public

but this entertainment future I mean to be distributed over the net soon,
but computers have come
and I see this factory of sales, and the packed crowds mingle through, of all ages and persuages, and I wonder what is to become of this virtual world

hah - then I run to northwestern to try to get online.
like bill - writing about junky life from the inside.

hah.

packaged experience for sale - it mostly revolves around dramatic scenarios of carnage and rescue, foreign place and

anyways - computers have come. anyone surprised?
yeah? well you're on the net.

and there's a magazine called "digital chicago" - "the resource for chicagoland's creative community"

trying to find the screenz home page, found it, it crashes my computer with a 175k imagemap.

scorn on scorn.

home, being home is also newspapers, every day, new york times

sigh.

today: two article chunks of note:

(I would link to them, but you can't read them unless you're authenticated)

Anti-Fur Groups Wage War on Mink Farms, big article front page of the national report (page 6):

"Without any apparent central leadership, the [Animal Liberation Front]'s only coordination seems to be Internet web sites, including Diary of Actions for North America."

Dispute on Tarot Lecture Roils a Small-Town Library, page 9 national news.

"SEABROOK, N.H., Nov 25 - Most cash-strapped, small-town public librarians know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. But when books on the occult, bearing titles like "Buckland's Complete book of Witchcraft" and "To Ride a Silver Broomstick," began showing up in the mail by the dozens last summer at the Seabrook Public Library, the head Librarian, Elizabeth Heath, admits that she and her staff were "amazed and confused."

"The donated books started arriving after the library's trustees, under pressure from religious leaders in town, postponed two proposed lectures last August on tarot reading, numerology and dream analysis. A group of about 300 local churchgoers objected to their tax dollars financing lectures that they said would promote the occult, comparing the lectures to the teachings of Satan. Some also called for the town selectman to withhold money from the library and shut it down, should the lectures be held as scheduled.

"Soon after, Tom Canfield, a resident of nearby Durham who dabbles in tarot and astrology, spread word of the postponements on the Internet, calling the board's decision a violation of free speech and urging people to send occult books to the library in protest. As a result of Mr. Canfield's initiative, the library has recived close to 500 books related to the occult."

earlier this even I visited electric minds

electric minds has hired me to host a forum there, off of my attitude/articles, etc.
it's a quiet area sorta, not like VRML or one of the more-well-visited areas,

(my free time I mostly spend making web page
but I turned a topic towards my recent crisis over college,
independence versus return

or work at electric minds some
but I used the forum to debate the value of education in light of perhaps personally projected relative valuelessness of instutitional edimication - that I might learn as much or enough or differently valuable stuff by wandering a public library and writing as much as I do (or would even more granted easing of foreign constraints)

anyways, the forum on e-minds provided wonderful feedback. trei, duni and scoot all weighed in with howard abbe I type so fast like the words can't come fast enough and my aching fingers can't keep up and I have so much to say and jeez
this random message pops up as I log into cyborganic,

"Speed is subsittute fo accurancy."
abbe and spoon
thems and others I didn't know shared poetics and politics and diatribe and discourse over this subject
they were surprisingly, forgivingly deferential to my situation and posituation

and so there I read the further discourse and came as close as I can to committing to return to swarthmore

mostly cuz it's fun and why not and if I apply myself I know I can learn some mojo shit and my time at eminds is too conveniently up and I'm not feeling quite ready to be as forward and follow-through-ish to be completely without daily job or schooling independent

now I have to give my ego flight of recent weeks of tv and library learnings solitude a reprieve until summer.

but making plans for the semester to come is fun
as it is simultaineous sad to leave behind someone smart

smart and starting.

old blues and good computers! I'm psyched!

and I can stay late, work on yesterday.

bill was impressed, brings over 45 yrs. black "yoda" old school computer smart guy listens to my patter
bill lives upstairs,
he's real into chat, IRC
billed for 210 minutes at member rate - $27
I ask if my music bothers him,
naw, he used to work in college radio.

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